Warrior Princess Sisters

IF

2011-01-26T21:54:00.000-08:00

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor:

Agree with each other,

love each other,

be deep-spirited friends.

Don't push your way to the front;

don't sweet-talk your way to the top.

Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.

Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.

Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Philippians 2:1-4 MSG

There is nothing more to say.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

All I Want For Christmas Is...

2010-12-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Warrior Princess Sisters! I don't know if anyone will have time to read this before Christmas, but I am motivated to write tonight so I will. I haven't posted anything for over a month and part of the reason has been a bit of a temper tantrum and the other part of the times has been complacency. But tonight I find myself in a place that I can say that God is good and what He does is good, and I found a profound poem I must share, so I will write tonight.

In case you haven't heard, we've had quite the month! Two days after Thanksgiving my husband broke two ribs playing a friendly game with some friends and their kids. Morgan (my 14 year old who was recovering from her leg surgery) was doing well enough to give up her crutches 3 days before Thanksgiving, but not well enough to play the game, so she just stood on the sidelines. God truly has a sense of humor, because while she was standing on the sideline watching the game, one of the players ran into her and broke her foot! (Aside from the pain, isn't that so unbelievable that it's laughable?) We didn't really think it was broke, so we just went home. The next morning my husband's father died so we didn't really do anything about her foot that day. By that night we were pretty sure the foot was broken, but decided to wait until the morning to go see her regular orthopedic doctor. When we finally got in to see him we found it was truly a broken bone in her foot (yes, it was on the same leg she just had the surgery on), so they put her in a removable cast/boot thing. WHILE I was at that appointment, my other daughter injured her ankle while playing at a friend's house. She wouldn't put any weight on it but I couldn't believe that she had actually broke it, so I just had her put it up and take it easy.

By the next morning it was apparent that it was probably broken. Once we got in to see the same
orthopedic her sister regularly sees, we got x-ray confirmation that she had broken completely through her fibia. Two girls in casts in two days and we were planning a funeral. Not to mention that we don't have great health coverage so we will probably end up paying for the break completely out of pocket. Oh, and we just found out that our less-than-stellar health coverage was tripling in price and we can't change health plans until our first daughter finishes her physical therapy! Okay, so now you know why I have had some down days and a few rounds of pouting before my God.

Some days I have felt like Noah in the ark. The storm is raging around me. It's not fun. It doesn't feel very secure. But somehow, I know that He is in control and He is going to bring us through this. He is going to provide. Other days, I am just tired, sad, and complain that we have already had to bear more than most people I know. WHAH! Those are the childish temper tantrum, pouting days.

I have found myself telling God that what I want for Christmas is for us all to stay healthy! No more medical problems and no more medical bills (more than a quarter of our income has gone to medical expenses this year). I want a better job for my husband with better, less expensive health coverage. I want to be able to save some money this year. I want to have money to give away this year. Nothing that I want is unreasonable or materialistic, so why won't God be reasonable?

"My thoughts are completely

different from yours,"

says the LORD.

"And my ways are far beyond

anything

you could imagine.

Isaiah 55:8

When I remember that I surrender all over again, sometimes multiple times in a day. I choose to trust Him because I do believe that His ways are far beyond anything I can understand. Then to top it all off, I found this poem from a book Max Lucado wrote called A Love Worth Giving.

You have a ticket to heaven no thief can take,

An eternal home no divorce can break.

Every sin of your life has been cast to the sea.

Every mistake you’ve made is nailed to the tree.

You’re blood-bought and heaven-made.

A child of God – forever saved.

So be grateful, joyful – for isn’t it true?

What you don’t have is much less

Than what you do.

He is right. What I don't have: good health, good health care, money in savings, money to cover our expenses, etc. all of these things that we don't have right now are much less than what we do have. I am choosing to dwell on the things I am grateful for. I am choosing to thank God for what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will do with all of this stuff we are dealing with. So, all I want for Christmas is still all the things I mentioned and some that I didn't. But I am gaining perspective and trusting Him that He is enough. He IS enough! Fatigued and battle-worn, I can truly say, "To God be all the glory!"

Merry Christmas,

WP Stacey

Speak the Truth In Love

2010-11-12T08:01:00.000-08:00

As you can see I have not written anything for the blog for over 6 weeks. We’ve been a little busy. A lot, actually. Since my last post we took a short family trip to California. It was very much needed and beneficial to get away and do something fun together. We spent a day in San Diego and two days is Disneyland. We just wanted to do something fun together while Morgan could still walk before she had her next leg surgery. It was awesome to go, especially since we hadn’t been in almost five years! Thank You, Lord, for our trip!

Morgan had her second leg surgery two days after we returned from California and it went really well. This leg needed less correction so she only had to have the femur cut through and re-aligned. This made for a much less painful, easy recovery. She got her cast off yesterday and starts physical therapy today. Thank you for all of you prayers for her. We expect her to be walking normally before Christmas!

I have several things to write about. There have been a lot of things going into my hand-written journal and floating around in my head, but I just haven’t had the time and energy to sit and write for the blog. So I think today I’m going to start with something short and simple. I have been taking a class on co-dependency from a Christian perspective. Wow! Very eye-opening. There is so much I could share about that, but I’m just going to share this little piece. At the end of the last chapter we had scripture to look up regarding what the Word says about living in healthy relationships and one of the verses was Ephesians 4:25.

Therefore each of you

must put off falsehood

and speak truthfully

to his neighbor,

for we are all members

of one body.

Ephesians 4:25

This verse reminded me of my original Warrior Princess Sisters and the reason I started this blog. I have been able to grow and become healthier (spiritually and emotionally) because I have friends who do speak the truth to me. What a blessing! We don’t look for things to “hold one another accountable” for, but we are able to speak the truth when we need to. We are not trying to “fix” each other, we are simply able to ask questions and share truth from God’s Word to help one another. My prayer for this blog is that as we share and read each other’s stories, real life happenings, struggles, and victories we will be speaking the truth and putting off falsehood.

We do need to remember the first part of the verse says that we “must put off falsehood.” We want to be good friends, nice people, so sometimes we don’t say anything because we are afraid it might hurt (the other person or us if we are rejected). But if our motive is to expose the truth and not “fix” our friends, if we check our motives and find that we are not trying to be controlling, but are genuinely concerned for others, we can expose the lies and speak the truth. In fact we are told that we must do that. It is actually a sign of wellness, maturity, and becoming more like Christ.

Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth. Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:14-15

I was struggling with something last week and thought I knew the truth, but wanted to be sure that the view I had of myself was accurate and not just what I wanted to think about myself. Because I can be very self-condemning I needed the perspective of a friend I could trust to tell me the truth about what she sees in my life. I was open to both possibilities, that I have made huge progress in this area or that I have only made some effort and have deceived myself into complacency. It was so encouraging to hear two friends speak the truth to me so that I could move forward in truth! They didn’t just tell me what I wanted to hear, they spoke truth and then each one prayed for me.

Do you have a friend like that? Are you a friend like that? Sometimes we have to be that kind of friend before we can have that kind of friend. Just remember that we are to speak the truth IN LOVE. Whether or not our friend chooses to hear is in God’s hands and between her and God. Keep loving and speaking truth, looking to God to do the work in you and in your friend. And instead of being hurt when a friend risks speaking the truth to you, thank her for caring enough to take the risk to speak honestly with you. Then ask the Lord what He would have you to do with that information and always make sure that it is in line with His Word.

And over all these virtues

put on love,

which binds them all

together in

perfect unity.

Colossians 3:14

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

p.s. Pastor Logan spoke on this two weeks ago. Here is the link to listen to the podcast http://www.ccctucson.org/listen.asp the sermon title is Right Relationships in the Body of Christ (Mann). I highly recommend listening to it, even if you've already heard it. I look forward to hearing from you regarding this topic and anything else that the Lord puts on your heart to share.

Walking in the Dark

2010-09-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

“Faith grows only in the dark. You’ve got to trust where you can’t trace Him. That’s faith. You just take Him at His Word, believe Him, and grip the nail-scarred hand a little tighter. And faith grows.” Lyell Rader

I ran across this quote today and it made me think of a verse that God showed me about five years ago.

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of His servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from My hand: You will lie down in torment. Isaiah 50:10-11

When I came upon these verses I was in the middle of a painful time in my life and I was, again, trying to figure out what to do and how to “fix” it. When He showed me these verses He opened my eyes to how I usually try to come up with a solution to my own problems. You know, I pray and ask Him to tell me what to do, and then I make a plan and start doing something. Do? Really? Why is that our first response to pain or problems?

What about, “Be still and know that I am God,”? It was profound to me that God says, “Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.” The truth is, I prayed, but I was fully expecting for MY actions to get me out of the trouble I was in. I was “lighting my own fires” because I so feared being in the dark. Yet here He was saying that if I fear the Lord and trust the Lord, then I’ll rely on Him and NOT myself. And what’s going to happen when I rely on myself? I end up in torment (usually emotionally beating myself up over the "would've, should've, could've").

When I came across the quote by Lyell Rader that I started with today I knew I needed to write about this. We have been taught some poor theology thinking that we always need to be in the light. I don’t mean we go looking for the darkness, but when we find ourselves in a dark place and we know we are walking with Him, why don’t we just keep holding His hand and walk with Him? If we are with Him, trusting Him when we can’t see the next step, is that not complete reliance on Him? Is that not exactly what He wants? If it takes me being encompassed by the darkness to grip His hand tight and not let go and rely totally on Him instead of me, then that’s a good place to be. It feels a lot more scary walking in the dark, but who do we think we are when we can see what’s around us, what’s coming up, and it’s not scary and we don’t feel the urgency to hold on to Him or to let Him lead the way?

I am so thankful that even in the darkest times, I know He is there and I just hold on and take one blind step at a time. My hand in His.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Victory in a Refrigerator

2010-09-16T23:43:00.000-07:00

Well, this has been another busy week around our house and I am again finding myself making this post at least a few days later than I had hoped. The week started off with an unexpected surprise. Monday morning when we were just getting ready to sit down and eat breakfast we noticed a strange, strong odor in the house. It was so strong that it was making us cough, so we opened the windows and ate out on the back patio. When I went back into the house the smell was still very strong even with all of the windows opened and there was a haze in the air. I began looking in earnest for the source. I had already checked the air conditioner, and thankfully, it was not the problem. The smell was always the strongest in the kitchen, so we set to work sniffing everything in the kitchen until we realized that it was coming from the vent at the bottom of the refrigerator. It smelled like electrical wires burning so I pulled it out and unplugged it.

Long story short, the compressor on the refrigerator burned up and was burning some of the wiring. So, instead of doing the schooling I had planned for my daughters that morning we had “home economics” and loaded everything into the spare fridge in the garage and cleaned the burnt one (I was still hoping it was repairable at that point). It was not cost effective to replace the compressor in it, so the next day we went and got to buy a new refrigerator, but it couldn’t be delivered until the following day. The bad part about that is the spare fridge in the garage doesn’t work so well and the freezer doesn’t keep stuff frozen. So, the girls got another home economics lesson and we cooked all of the meat (which, thankfully, wasn’t much).

Why in the world am I writing about such a mundane thing? Well, ladies, because this is victory for me.

#1. I did not have a fit and get upset when it broke and changed all of my plans for the day on Monday. (Have I ever mentioned how I love to plan and prepare for things to go smoothly? Oh, and maybe I get a bit upset when they don’t go the way I had planned.)

#2. I didn’t worry and fret all day while waiting for my husband to diagnose the problem. (Have I ever mentioned my amazing ability to obsess on one thing for hours, even days at a time?)

#3. I didn’t freak out about how we were going to afford to buy a refrigerator after using up our savings this last year that my husband was without a job. (I know that I have now mentioned my well-developed abilities of worry and obsession.)

#4. I was able to calmly enjoy the detour God had given us for the first three days of this week and not drive my children and husband insane with my worrying and attempts to come up with the solution. Incredibly, I was able to let the Lord show me what He had in mind throughout each part of those few days.

So, for those of you who aren’t type A, control freaks like me and you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal?” Any ONE of the things I listed above is a big deal to me! But that the Lord was free to do what He wanted in me this time is nothing less than miraculous. And I just want to publicly thank Him and give Him all the praise and glory for what He did in me this week!

By the way, He provided every penny for a new refrigerator, and I got a really nice one. In fact, I really like it. Oh, this is one more praise…I have this other talent to feel guilty about things most sane people couldn’t imagine feeling guilt over. Normally I would be feeling guilty for having, liking, and even enjoying my new refrigerator. Actually, I don’t think I could normally really enjoy it because of the guilt (weird, I know, but welcome to my warped little mind). But I don’t feel any guilt over having a new fridge, liking it, and even enjoying that I have a new one! I’m just thankful! That’s so cool and new for me, and it’s even better than having the new refrigerator.

I am sure that Lord has a lot for me to learn in this, and maybe I’ll be finding treasures for a long time through it, but a few verses come to mind right now:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

I am so thankful for how He directed me and made me a good example to my children in this one.

And my life verse, John 15:5

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.”

Woohoo! I didn’t “do” this time, I just remained in Him. I can only be so excited because I have been learning these lessons for a LONG time and it is so good to see Him do all of this in me at one time. Truly He did it. This is not the way I would handle any of it in my own abilities.

As I’m trying to figure out how to wrap this up, I’m wondering if this will make sense to anyone. I’m wondering if I’m the only one who struggles with these kind of silly thoughts, and if you will all think I’m a few bricks short of a full load for thinking this was worth sharing. I guess it doesn’t really matter though because even if you don’t get me and what He did in me, it’s still all for His glory.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Three Pronged Attack

2010-09-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

Hello Warrior Princess Sisters,

I have been meaning to get this piece posted for a week and finally have time to do it this morning. This piece was written by Shyla, my good friend and an orginal member of the Warrior Princesses. She actually wrote this earlier this summer and I've been waiting for the right time to post it. It seems like now is the time.

A verse came to mind as I was re-reading it this morning and I'd like to share that now and then copy her story into this post.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

After you read Shyla's story, you will see why this verse came to mind and how she is choosing to stand firm. My prayer today is that you will see where the enemy is attacking you, that you will renounce his lies, and stand firm in the freedom of Christ today.

If you have a victory story to share please email it to me at kishbooks at hotmail dot com (I have to type it out that way to keep spammers from capturing my email, but you know how to type it into your email contacts, right?). Again, I won't post anything unless I have your permission and I can post your's under a fake name if you like.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

The Enemy’s 3 Prong Attack…He Came to Destroy Me…. God Came to Give Me Life!

I was not only being assaulted by the infidelity of my husband, the sheer rejection and betrayal of that, but I was also being attacked on two fronts of my own existence that had been deeply seeded in my soul. One was my infertility. The other was my body image.

My husband’s mistress was pregnant with his child, something that I had wanted for 13 years. Despite adopting 5 children and having the privilege of parenting many babies and older children whose own mommy’s couldn’t care for them, I was still devastated with the reality that I could not have a baby. I wasn’t a “real” mom because I couldn’t have a baby. I didn’t realize that it remained an issue for me until this other woman was pregnant with my husband’s baby. I was devastated. I reached up and out to my Daddy and asked, “Why would You allow this? Isn’t it bad enough that they are committing adultery? Why would you honor them with the gift of a child? How can You possibly allow this? Why would you give them a child and not me? How many years did I ask You for a child?” This was one area in my life where the enemy assaulted me the hardest. If there was any area in my whole life that he could attack, this would be the second and most painful. His desire is to sift me like wheat. And believe me, I was being sifted.

The second issue was body image. My husband chose a woman who was more fit than me. She was leaner and more muscular than me. She had a nicer body than me. Part of their escapes were at the gym. The gym was MY domain. Even mine and my husband’s. Why does this matter? My life up to this point had been lived believing that if I was fit enough, looked good enough, performed well enough as an athlete, then I was closer to being “good enough.” My acceptance of myself came through my body image and athletic performance through specific expectations I had placed on myself. To be less than my expectations was to be less than good enough. My husband understood this about me and he too placed pressure on me in subtle but evident ways. So to be rejected for someone who was “more” of all that I tried to be was very devastating for me. This is exactly where the enemy launched his third area of assault. Number three most devastating area the enemy could have assaulted me was right here on my body image.

Abundant life…I would need to recognize and receive His help in abolishing some lies that I had been believing for a very long time. Lies that had resulted in bondage for me. For starters, I had always felt like I was less than other women, that I was missing something because I couldn’t birth a child. I had felt as though I was less of a mother than all the women who can and do birth children. The enemy sold me a lie many years back and I bought it! He told me that I was missing something. He told me that I would never be a real mother because I couldn’t produce my own babies. He told me that I wasn’t good enough to birth a child. He told me that there was something wrong with me. Despite seeing many birth mothers who were incapable of parenting, through my experiences as a foster mom, I continued to buy this lie. With time and healing I realized that this was, in fact, a lie. My ability to be a mother has nothing to do with my ability to create a child in my womb. I still struggle with fully accepting this, but God has placed several mothers in my life that have both birthed and adopted children and they serve as mighty consolation for me that I am NOT missing anything. These precious women remind me that there is no difference in their feelings for or their abilities to care for their adopted and birth children. I do believe them. After coming to terms with the treacherous lie about my infertility and ability to be a good mother because of the inability to produce my own children.

To gain control over the lie that I was less than other women because I could not have a baby, I needed to renounce the agreement I had made with the enemy to believe such a lie about myself and my God. I verbally, out loud, in writing, (whatever form I could do at the time) needed to tell the devil that I break my agreement with him to believe this lie any longer. I had to acknowledge that I had bought the devil’s lie, that I thought wrongly of myself due to his lie, and that I thought sinfully of my God as well. I called him the Liar and Deceiver that he is and broke my agreement with him to believe his lie any longer. After that I invited the Lord right in to cover over this newly broken agreement with His reproving light of truth and asked Him to never allow me to go back to that place of believing this lie. Like any bondage we have subjected ourselves to, I have to revisit God’s Truth in this matter on occasion. It can be easy to fall back into old patterns of thinking. Whenever old, untrue thoughts of my inadequacy try to sneak in, I journal through them and call them what they are, big fat lies.

The same process has had to take place in regards to my false perceptions about my worth and body image. I was assaulted very hard in this place because it was a stronghold that painfully and thoroughly needed to be removed. I am thankful to God that He loved and regarded me so much as to allow such deep, precise pain in my life at that time. It was the kind of pruning that was necessary to get to the root of the issues. Don’t get me wrong, both the infertility and the body image issues have taken years to sort through and I am not complete yet. Far more free, but not complete. The enemy is a snake and he tries every way to usurp my rest and peace in what I know to be true about myself and how my God views me. In great goodness to me, God allowed a triple blow in my life, all at the same time, adultery (betrayal/rejection), infertility, and my body image. All three of these things challenged my worth as a woman. Looking back, in the beginning I was pleading with God to know why He would allow all three of these things to happen at once, in the dynamic of one horrific circumstance. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that He did this because He loves me and desired me to be set free. I am so very thankful for Him choosing to burn away my bondage in one massive swoop. He knew what I needed more than I myself would ever know. I am so grateful!

WP Shyla

Our Stories Are His Story

2010-08-31T09:22:00.000-07:00

O God, You are my God,

earnestly I seek You;

my soul thirsts for You,

my body longs for You,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

“Thirsty hearts are those whose longings have been wakened by the touch of God within them.” A.W. Tozer

God put a longing for deep relationship with Him inside of me, and He did that for you too. God put in us a longing for real relationship with others. God has given me some friends who are willing to be vulnerable and speak truth about their own struggles and sins, and to share how the Lord is revealing Himself to them in their real life circumstances. This can be scary at times because we must be vulnerable when we open up those dark places we would rather not have exposed. What will this friend think of me if she knows that? Actually, the truth is I would not share those “secret struggles” with friends because I could not even call them what they were to myself. Worse yet, I would not speak them to my God, and that’s just the way the enemy of our souls likes it!

But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that His word has no place in our hearts. I John 1:9-10

When I finally found a friend who was willing to speak the truth about herself and her struggles, it freed me to speak the truth about myself too. It helped me to see the power of calling my sins by their true names (you know, like "exaggeration" is a lie, and justifying why it is okay to be angry at my husband is cultivating a root of bitterness, etc.) and to confess them to the ONE who can take them and cleanse me from them. I also learned the power of replacing the sin with the antithesis of it. For example, when I confess having root of bitterness I ask the Lord to replace that with extending grace to my husband in the way that I would want him to extend it to me. But the thing that is the most amazing is that when I am honest about the sin and call it what it really is, it no longer has any power over me!

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

"Eugene Peterson said, 'We live in a narrative, we live in a story. Existence has a story shape to it. We have a beginning and an end, we have a plot, we have characters.' Story is the language of the heart. Our souls speak not in the naked facts of mathematics or the abstract propositions of systemic
theology; they speak in the images and emotions of story."
Chapter 4 “A Story Big Enough To Live In” The Scared Romance –Drawing Closer to the Heart of God by Curtis & Eldridge

This is why God made us to be in relationship with each other, ultimately it points us to relationship with Him. If you understand this, then you realize that your mere existence is a story and it interacts with everyone else’s story in the composition of HIS Story. If we withhold ourselves from one another, we are withholding HIS story from others, and tragically from ourselves. If we dare connect with one another, we are releasing ourselves in to the truth and GLORY of HIS Story. Isn’t that amazing?!! This is the very reason I started this blog. I am compelled to share His story that He is telling through me and I wanted to give other women a place to share what He is doing in you also. It is all His, which is why I end every post with the words, Sole Deo Gloria – “To God Alone Be the Glory.”

What do you have to share with someone else? A kind word, a smile, a skill, a helping hand, a prayer, yourself? Or would He even have you type out part of your story to post here and encourage others? Scary, I know, but so worth being obedient! (and I can even publish you under a fake name)

The next question is, “What keeps us from being vulnerable and sharing the story He is writing in our own life?” Is it pride? Fear? Pain? The messiness of relating to other imperfect, hurting people? Am I content to stagnate where I am? Am I agreeing w/the enemy about something about myself or the people God has in my life? Remember there is a VILLAIN in this story and these are some of his most effective tools. So here’s some truth to battle those lies:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
II Corinthians 1:3-4

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when she is nothing, she deceives herself. Each one should test her own actions.
Galatians 6:2-4

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Romans 12:15

Remember, the enemy wants to keep us from living in freedom and being effective. We don’t always have to have a word of advice. We don’t always have to DO something. Just be AVAILABLE!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be OVERJOYED when HIS GLORY IS REVEALED. I Peter 4:12-13

Playing It Safe

2010-08-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

"No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by God first." Oswald Chambers

But I trust in Your unfailing love,

my heart rejoices in Your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

for he has been good to me.

Psalm 13:5-6

So, do I trust in the Lord? Really trust Him? If you've read much of my blog, you know that I wrestle with Him, questioning whether or not what He is doing is really good or loving. I was recently reminded of this clip by Francis Chan about living life my own safe, painless way.

When I'm in the middle of a difficult time I think I want God to stop the pain, make things right, and I second guess every decision I've made and what I could've/should've done to have avoided it. But that's not how to live in a real relationship with a real God. Even though I throw my fits about the yucky stuff, the truth is, I don't want to settle for a medicore, "safe" life. I want a real, growing, thriving relationship with my Lord, no matter what it costs.

So, how about you? What are you holding on to today? What are you depending on instead of trusting in His unfailing love? I hope your answer is, "Nothing but Him."

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

New Look and New Post

2010-08-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is the Warrior Princess Sisters blog with a new look. What do you think of it? I'm trying something new, but am open to critique. It's just a basic template, but a different one than I was previously using. If any of you have experience and would be willing to tutor or help me in customizing it a bit more I'll buy you coffee or cook for you in exchange for the guidance:) Any way, it's good to be back on here again.

First, let me thank you all for your prayers for Morgan and Kraig and give you an update on those life circumstances. Morgan is progressing quite well through her physical therapy. She gave up crutches completely about two weeks ago and has gone from hobbling around to limping these days. We are grateful that the limp is not caused by pain. She is limping because she is still strengthening and building muscles in her leg and she is finding it a bit difficult to make her “new” leg that is now correctly structured, flow in step with her other leg that is still painful and incorrectly structured. She just realized all of these things this weekend, so we’ll be talking to the physical therapist at her next appointment and her surgeon when we see him this week.

Regarding my husband’s job…Well, we are very thankful that he has a job! This is the job at a cabinet shop on the other side of town and he is very gifted in the things he is doing there. It is a praise that he feels good to be using the experience, gifts, and talents that the Lord has given him. When I last posted I told you that he had applied and interviewed for a good job with health benefits (which we really need and his current employer does not offer). He did not get that job and it was pretty disappointing for both of us that he did not. It seemed like a perfect fit. He is very capable and a hard worker, so it was a blow to him that they did not offer him the position. I was very disappointed in God for “not coming through for us” and just didn’t have anything in me to share for about the first ten days after receiving this news. I felt like I had nothing to write but complaint and that I did not need to put that on you, my readers and Warrior Princess Sisters. I was not looking for consolation from anyone but God Himself and felt the need to press in to Him and be still for a while.

God began to show me some things as I sat in my disappointment. The first thing He showed me was that I did need to just be still. Still is not an easy thing to be, at least not for me. The following scripture comes to mind as I reflect on my days of sitting still:

This is what the Sovereign Lord,

the Holy One of Israel, says:

“In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust

is your strength,

but you would have none of it.

Isaiah 30:15

I had underlined and meditated on this passage through other struggles over the past few years, but definitely needed to be reminded of it. I often feel like I am in undesirable circumstances because I have not worked hard enough or been seeking the Lord enough or some other lie of the enemy. This verse helps me have perspective because He is reprimanding His people for trying to make their own way instead of just trusting and resting in Him. So, this is where the Lord has had me, and it’s a good place to be.

One thing He showed me is this job is right where the Lord wants my husband to be. His new boss is excellent at the work he does yet is not high-strung or over-bearing, which is so different from other places he has worked. My husband is valued and appreciated where he is working. This is such a refreshing thing for him, and I see God’s hand in having him in this type of work environment.

Another thing I’ve recognized is that I keep thinking that we have to have health insurance through a group or employer because of Morgan’s legs and the health issues that I have had. In this time of pressing into Him I’ve had to evaluate if I am willing to depend on Him for taking care of our health and whatever expenses it would involve, or do I feel like I have to have an insurance plan to feel secure. I choose to believe that God is who He says He is and that He will take care of us and provide for us. So, I’m giving up worrying about health insurance. I’m relinquishing my disappointment for my husband not getting the job I think he should have, the health benefits I would like, and the idea that I will be secure if He gives me these things. My hope, my trust, is in Him alone.

I have been busier than usual with appointments to the physical therapist twice a week and other doctor appointments, plus we started school again. I’m feeling like I have our schedule at a more manageable place so that I can post a couple of times a week again. I am still very interested in hearing from you through the comments or if you have a story, verse, or something to share with the readers of this blog. Thanks for reading this today, and welcome back!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Morgan Got Her Cast Off & A Job for My Husband

2010-07-23T16:59:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not posting anything on the blog for a whole week (not that any of you are waiting daily), but I know that many of you have been checking here for updates on Morgan and Kraig’s employment status. Well, I have good news to share on both accounts. Kraig started working for a cabinet shop this week and it is so good to know that we will have a paycheck coming! I would ask you to continue to pray for Kraig’s job situation though. This cabinet shop does not offer any health benefits. The other good news is that Wednesday morning he had an interview with another company and he did so well that they had him go in today for a 2 hour assessment. This test is to determine how he does with this type of work (it is not construction, yea!). Please do pray! We are very hopeful about this job opportunity as we have been told that they are a good company to work for and they have really good health care plan. They are supposed to contact us on Monday and let us know if he will continue in the process to be hired or not for this job.

Morgan got her cast off yesterday! They did an x-ray to see how her bone is growing and it is doing so much better than he expected that he decided not to put another cast on her lower leg. They just gave her a brace for her knee and one for her ankle. This is a huge praise! Thank You, LORD! And thank you to everyone who has been praying for her. She goes to her first physical therapy session on Monday. They say 6-8 weeks of physical therapy.

We are in a good place right now emotionally and spiritually, but very much seeking God and His heart and desire for us. A friend had suggested the following devotion from My Utmost for His Highest a few weeks ago. I have read it several times and find it sinking in deeper than the obvious point he is making. I will say that his last point, "Don't calculate with the rainy day in view" is probably the one that trips me up the most since I tend to be a planner. This devotion has helped me to stop going to all of the "what if" scenarios that I can think up regarding not getting health benefits, getting a job that my husband would enjoy more, or give him more time with the family, etc. I can jump to 100 "what if's" in minutes and then I start trying to plan according to those instead of leaning on my Father. I find myself reconsidering my desire to plan ahead for every possiblilty (it sounds ridiculous as I type this, since we can't possibly think of or avoid every possiblilty). The following piece by Oswald Chambers has been a blessing to me at this place we find ourselves. I want to share it with you today and I pray that it is a help to you too.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Don’t Calculate Without God

Psalm 37:5 Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust Him, and He will help you.

Don’t calculate without God.

God seems to have a delightful way of upsetting the things we have calculated on without taking Him into account. We get into circumstances which were not chosen by God, and suddenly we find we have been calculating without God; He has not entered in as a living factor. The one thing that keeps us from the possibility of worrying is bringing God in as the greatest factor in all our calculations.

In our religion it is customary to put God first, but we are apt to think it is an impertinence to put Him first in the practical issues of our lives. If we imagine we have to put on our Sunday moods before we come near to God, we will never come near Him. We must come as we are.

Don't calculate with the evil in view.

Does God really mean us to take no account of the evil? "Love . . . taketh no account of the evil." Love is not ignorant of the existence of the evil, but it does not take it in as a calculating factor. Apart from God, we do reckon with evil; we calculate with it in view and work all our reasonings from that standpoint.

Don't calculate with the rainy day in view.

You cannot lay up for a rainy day if you are trusting Jesus Christ. Jesus said - "Let not your heart be troubled." God will not keep your heart from being troubled. It is a command - "Let not . . ." Haul yourself up a hundred and one times a day in order to do it, until you get into the habit of putting God first and calculating with Him in view.

The Knot Prayer

2010-07-14T08:39:00.000-07:00

Today's post is short and simple, but I hope it causes you to reflect like it did me. It is a poem that one of our Warrior Princess Sisters, Marcy, sent to me. Thank you, Marcy!

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,

please untie the knots

that are in my mind,

my heart and my life.

Remove the have nots,

the can nots and the do nots

that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,

may nots, and

might nots that find

a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,

would nots and

should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all, dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind

my heart and my life all of the am nots

that I have allowed to hold me back,

especially the thought

that I am not good enough.

Amen.

Anonymous

What nots are tying you up today? I think of my daughter when she was very little struggling with a knot in her shoe lace and becoming more and more frustrated because her little fingers just couldn't get the mess untied. In fact, the more she struggled, the tighter the knots became. When she finally gave up and let me try, it took me a little longer than it should have to untie the knots because of her tightening the knots with her struggling.

Are you tightening any knots in your life? You know that your Heavenly Father is waiting for you to let Him take care of those nots for you?

Those who live in the shelter

of the Most High

will find rest in the

shadow of the Almighty.

This I declare of the LORD:

He alone is my refuge,

my place of safety;

He is my God,

and I am trusting

Him.

Psalm 91:1-2

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

p.s. A tiny victory dance! I learned to post a photo in the blog today.

Beauty For Ashes

2010-07-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Warrior Princess Sister,

Today I am just full of the joy of the LORD! Having moved past my grief, I have been free to count my blessings and enjoy where the LORD has us right now. I even did a silly thing yesterday. No, I mean, really silly totally out of character for me. Wanna hear what I did?

We were listening to KLOVE and they said that if you went to Chik-fil-A dressed as a cow you could get a free combo meal. They said that you could even download a "cow costume" from the Chik-fil-A website. It sounded so funny to me to go in dressed like a cow, so I asked my 13 year old and her best friend if they wanted to go do it, thinking that they'd think it would be really funny to see me do that. Well, the best friend thought it was a fun idea, but my duaghter did not. When she finally agreed to go with us, we cut out the paper cow costumes from the website and taped them to our clothes and glasses (I especially liked the sign that said, "Eat More Chikin") and went down to Chik-fil-A and put Morgan in her wheelchair and went in looking totally goofy. So Samiyah and I got free combo meals and I had to pay for Morgan's, but it was fun. I didn't give Morgan a hard time for not doing the cow thing, so maybe she'll learn to loosen up a little next time, and the three of us did have a fun time. It was really cute seeing whole families dressed like cows too:)

So now to today's story. I think I'm calling today's post Beauty for Ashes because the result of sharing my ugly thoughts was a lot of beautiful encouragement from many of you Warrior Princesses. Thank you, again! A new Warrior Princess, Patti, gave me permission to share a piece of her life story with you. I've only just heard her story in the last week and am amazed that she has only been a believer for a few years. Her words of wisdom seem to have many more years of following Christ behind them. To give you a very brief background to help make sense of her story, she and her daughter had to move out of their house and into a small apartment last week due to some financial changes in their life. So, without any more of my ramblings, here's Patti's story...

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

A Word From Warrior Princess Patti

I did read your wonderful and insightful thoughts about “regret.” That has been an amazing part of my life as well in soooo many ways! In my limited studies of scripture and studies with Beth Moore as my “guide,” I have come away feeling as if my messed up choices can be used to help those around me in some way. How God will use these “life experiences” to build His Kingdom is not completely understood yet. Indeed the greatest study I have experienced was the one of Esther. Providence is GIGANTIC! God will use us, but the question is will we allow HIM to use us and go through the fire (Daniel) with HIM or without HIM.

I too find it interesting that regret is linked to lamenting. I agree it is grief. I know I have grieved and still struggle with it. At times the enemy has had me regretting divorce, marriage, life, etc. But I KNOW that the truth is I can allow God to use me in all of this. I’ll be honest, the other day I found my daughter, Sabrina, crying in her room (again) and asked her what was going on. She has been simply filled with emotion. Mind you, I am pretty much exhausted and have lost empathy/patience for my girls on too many occasions; trust me when I say I am disappointed in myself!! Anyhow, we sat on her bed and I was hugging her and urging her to talk to me about what was going on (I never know if it is emotions from hormone/menstrual stuff, friendship pains or what!). Finally, she says “I miss our house.” She “boo-hooed” for a few minutes and then I lost it. I was so upset I was crying! I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand what she wanted and frankly it seemed rather ridiculous to me. After all, look around us. Please, we are not suffering! Well, we got through all that…I calmed down, tried to listen to her, encouraged her to speak from her heart and realized much later that day that she didn’t have the words to express how or why she felt the way she did. BUT she did say she “regretted” things/choices. Now, I won’t bore you with the 15 year old’s definition of regret, but I can tell you where my heart is in all this.

I am 46 years old, college educated, worked in a field for 18 years, have twin teen daughters, survived a very unhealthy childhood, marriage and divorce and now live in a 2 bedroom apartment. As the girls and I laughed today…our kitchen, while indeed lovely, is in fact a kitchen, office area, and laundry room! Hmmmmmm. My regrets are gone…God has prepared me and will use me. Some of my choices have been close to deadly and indeed down right humiliating. I am happy that I have allowed God to literally pull my heart out of my chest, dust it off, re-shape it and place it back inside filled with His love (painful indeed). Life is different now for me and the girls, but I am committed to be a Kingdom Builder in anyway He wants to use me. I can only assume that this new “location” is a part of the plan. I pray I bring Him honor and that I actually listen to HIM.

I am reminded of Esther once again; she has to make a choice to do the unthinkable in order to save her people …confront King Xerxes to defend her people. She says, “If I perish, I perish.” I love these words….from a woman nonetheless! God used her life, her connections, her knowledge, her heart (all from HIM) and she allowed Him to work through her to save her people! His people! Praise Jesus! May I be a little more like Esther every day!!!

So my prayer for us all…stay clear of regret that drags you down, yet allow yourself to embrace the grief of the loss, the change, the mistake…but then celebrate with God how He will use all of it for His Kingdom!

WP Patti

p.s. For those WPS readers who are here in Tucson, our church is doing the Esther study Patti talked about starting in September. I am even more excited to get to do it now that I've read what Patti had to say about it! And the cool thing is that I had already planned on having Morgan do it with me. So if there are any other mother daughters, or friends out there who want to join us, come on out! I'll be leading one of the small groups on Wednesday nights (it is also being offered on Tuesday mornings).

Regret, Repentance, & Restoration

2010-07-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Warrior Princess Sisters,

Thank you all for your prayers and for the words of encouragement that so many of you shared in response to my last post. I was really moved by the stories some of you shared with me. How blessed I am to be given such treasures from your lives! I have requested that a few of you give me permission to share some of your stories, but the rest of you will have to wait and see if anyone lets me share their story. (Pray for them to have the courage to share, I know you’ll be blessed!)

Before I get into my follow up on Regrets, I wanted to give you all an update on Morgan. Morgan is doing really well! She has been using just the Tylenol for pain relief since Sunday. Yesterday Morgan only took two Tylenol all day. She said the pain level is low enough that she didn’t need it in the afternoon. The bigger praise is that she said that even the pain she was in last week after the surgery was more bearable pain than the leg pains she was having before her surgery! Isn’t that awesome?

Being confined by the cast is difficult for her at times, but she is handling it well. (Thank you for your prayers regarding the Lord using this to grow her.) We borrowed a wheelchair for her and last night after church she was wheeling around with her friends and having a great time just being more mobile in the chair. Of course, all the other kids wanted to “play” in the chair, but she told them that even though she was having fun in the chair, they didn’t really want to have to use one. So then they all wanted to get a chance to push her, but she prefers moving herself around so she only lets them push her when her arms get tired. It was really fun to watch.

We are still praying for a job with health benefits. My husband got some new leads from the unemployment office and filled out several applications on line yesterday when he got home. He has more to pursue today. He has been doing some consulting for a small cabinet shop and another wants to hire him, but they don’t offer any health benefits. He told them he’d rather do consulting for them as well and continue pursuing a job with health benefits. I think that he might start doing some work for them next week.

Thank you so much for your prayers! I could truly feel them the day I made my last post. I am doing well. Really. I pray that as I type this out that the Lord would enable me to share what He has been showing me. To His glory!

Love,
WP Stacey

Regret, Repentance, and Restoration

“Rarely do we ask in prayer for what we really need. We usually think a solution will suffice, some sort of answer to our problem. We learn from lament that nothing less than the restored Presence of God will ever satisfy our souls.” (Michael Card, A Sacred Sorrow, workbook p. 21)

The restored Presence of God. Yep, that was it! That is it! I learned a valuable lesson through my regret. Instead of telling myself all the things that I “should” be feeling, or all the things God has taught us along the way, or all of the blessings we do have…instead, I just allowed myself to grieve. I just poured my heart out to the LORD about how sad I was over not having stayed in that house and all the memories I miss from there, all the things I liked about it, the stability it could have been, etc. Even as I wrote what I posted on this blog, I was just pouring it out. And you know, as I got that all out it took me to a place of repentance and restored relationship with my Savior.

I don’t think that act of selling that house was sinful, but there was a lot of baggage associated with the why of the move and a lot more baggage built up in not dealing properly with my thoughts and feelings about it. But mostly it was the thinking that a “solution was the answer” to my problems then and my regret now. The truth is that in fully lamenting it brought me to a place where NOTHING but His Presence would suffice, and I repented of seeking anything other than Him and that brought me into His Presence. Right where I needed to be…the very thing for which my heart truly longs.

“The bottom line: We are all born into a world we were not really made to inhabit. We were created for God, made to flourish in the comfort of the Presence of our Father with the warm context of His undeniable (loving-kindness). Now, in this fallen world, we are cut off from them both…We must call out to Him in the language He has provided. We must regain the tearful trail. We must relearn lament.” (A sacred Sorrow, p.20)

I just want to share this with you because it is so powerful! We all know that recounting our blessings is a good thing and that it is good for us to think about the good things He has done. Even remembering the sins and mistakes we have made and how He has redeemed them…redeemed us, these are good things. But what I am learning is that as good as those things are to do, unless I really am honest and lament the very really feelings that I have (cry out, like a child just sobs over a hurt until they can’t cry any more), until then I cannot fully accept the truth of the blessings. At least for me, I can say that, until I was honest about my regret and got it all out, I couldn’t fully accept the truth.

Please, don’t misunderstand what I am saying about lament. Even the other day when I was regretting past choices, I was not overcome. I was not/am not in despair. I am not depressed. I have been before, so I do know that I am not. In fact, even the day I wrote the piece on regret, I was not depressed, but I was grieving. Amazingly, I have been able to move past the sadness more quickly than other things that I have not fully grieved. In fact, after I wrote that piece and prayed I was able to have a really good day. I know that part of the reason was also that many of you were praying for me. So, while our circumstances have not change, the LORD’s Presence has been near and I feel well.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who has these battles of the mind, but I don’t think so now that I have heard back from several of you who have similar battles. In fact, even the scripture that I quoted the other day says that the mind is the battlefield:

We demolish arguments and

every pretension

that sets itself up against the

knowledge of God,

and we take captive every thought

to make it obedient to Christ.

II Corinthians 10:5

Also, I worry that you all might think that I am one of those people who enjoys being sad or thinking the worst, you know a “Debbie Downer.” No, that is not it at all. I am just learning the freedom of grieving and I have been sharing it with you. Actually, I am amazed at the hopefulness that I have been feeling these past months as we have struggled with joblessness, health, and financial issues. I think that right now, I am more truly joyful in my spirit than I have been in years. I fear that as I have let you in on my personal thoughts and struggles, that maybe you think that I am depressed or in despair. I am not. My mind is a battlefield every day, and some days are harder than others, especially days when we get a letter saying that my husband didn’t get the job, etc. But living in this truth is truly freeing, and I feel well in my soul.

Listen to what Michael Card has to say, “But there exists within American Christianity a numb denial of our need for lament. Some theologians go so far as to say these biblical laments no longer apply to us. And so the language of confession sounds stranger and stranger to our ears. It is heard less and less in our churches, and when it is voiced, rarely are our sins genuinely lamented…Our inability or refusal to enter into personal lament betrays the fact that we do not recognize the depth of our sin. We stubbornly refuse to have our hearts broken by it.”

I’m sure I will be on the battlefield every day. I am sure that there will continue to be disappointments, but I am sure that this tool of lament is just one more weapon that the Lord has given me to live in truth. And I assure you that it hurts less to be honest with my feelings and fully grieve them than when I stuff them and try to pretend that I don’t feel disappointed, sad, angry, or whatever the feeling of the moment is.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Galatians 5:1

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;

He delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the

brokenhearted

and saves those who are

crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,

but the Lord delivers him from them all;

Psalm 34:17-19

I’ve said a lot today and I pray that it makes sense. I pray that everyone who reads this today will be encouraged. I pray that the Lord will take my feeble attempt to share what He is teaching me and that it will be a help to you. I am so thankful for even the two ladies who wrote in their stories of regret to me that just the act of taking the time to write out their stories was helpful to them. I am thankful that because our God is so great, NOTHING will be unredeemed! I am so thankful that He uses the weak and lowly things to bring glory to Himself.
To God Be The Glory!
WP Stacey

What Is Regret?

2010-07-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Regret is a word heavy on my heart today. It is a word that has been coming up often, so I figured I needed to look into and see what the Lord wanted to say to me about it. My first step was to look it up in Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary. I am intentionally going to digress here.

Why the Webster’s 1828 Dictionary? Did you know that Noah Webster was a committed Christian and that he wrote that dictionary as a result of a direct call from God to do so? Today’s dictionaries, even the ones bearing his name, are a very watered down version of the original meanings of the words. If you want a well searched out definition of a word, I highly recommend this dictionary (this dictionary even includes scripture, though it is lacking in modern words relating to technolgical advancements since that time). It’s a lot more expensive than the paperback ones you can buy everywhere, but it is so worth the investment! Back to the topic:

So, what was the original meaning of the word?

Regret, n.

Grief; sorrow; pain of mind. We feel regret at the loss of friends, regret for our own misfortunes, or for the misfortunes of others.
Pain of conscience; remorse; as a passionate regret at sin.
Dislike; aversion. [Not proper nor in use.]

Regret, v.t.

1. To grieve at; to lament; to be sorry for; to repent.

2. To be uneasy at. [Not proper nor in use.]

So, why am I pondering regret? Well, yesterday we drove by our first house, the one Kraig and I lived in for 11 years. I really liked that house! We had a lot of great memories in that house including bringing both of our babies home there. But the other thing that happened there was that we remodeled that house ourselves, together. It was hard work, but it was fun too. It wasn’t a big house, but it was bigger than the one we currently live in, and it was a place where our gift for hospitality thrived. I miss that freedom and the room to have lots of people over! So, last night I was filled with regret (grief, sorrow, pain of mind) over ever moving out of that house.

I pondered how much better it would have been for my daughters to have had the stability of having grown up in that one house. Instead we are currently living in the fourth house of their young lives. While I am grateful for this house, it is not a house that we are “at home” in. It doesn’t fit our gift of hospitality. It is not an open place to my soul like that first house was. I have regret.

When we came home from the fireworks last night I was quite grieved over this and just had to get out and walk the dog and think. I kept pondering regret. I thought of a line from a movie I once saw. The daughter asked her mother if she ever had any regrets about decisions she had made (because this daughter was very much regretting some of her decisions), and the mother answered, “No, I don’t have regrets because even my mistakes have made me who I am, and I wouldn’t be who I am if I had made different decisions.”

That statement may or may not be true. Is it wise to regret and then use that to help you make wiser decisions from this point forward? Or is it better to be content and just say that even those mistakes are making me what God wants me to be?

I was surprised when I read the verb tense of the word regret - to grieve at; to lament; to be sorry for; to repent. The verb form of regret goes right along with what I am learning about sorrow and lamenting. I feel like that is what I am doing and maybe this line from the movie that has been playing in my head for the past few years has no truth in it. You see, I have felt like there is something wrong with me that I do regret that decision (and others like it), and that I’m pretty sure that God could’ve taught me what he wanted to even if I hadn’t made those poor choices. I think of stories in the Bible of lives that would’ve been different if only they had made a different choice. I think about how some of them used that as a lesson to spur them on to seek the Lord before moving forward in their new circumstances.

I realize that I am fighting to demolish a stronghold of the enemy here. I am praying for wisdom as to how He, my Savior, wants me to see this and set me free from this trap.

For though we live in the world,
we do not wage war as the world does.

The weapons we fight with are
not the weapons of the world.

On the contrary, they have divine power
to demolish strongholds.

We demolish arguments
and every pretension

that sets itself up against
the knowledge of God,

and we take captive
every thought to make it
obedient to Christ.

II Corinthians 10:3-5

I am asking you, my Warrior Princess sisters, if you have struggled with this or if you have any insight to give me? I would so appreciate your prayers regarding the LORD revealing what He wants me to know about this. The good news is that I have hope! Just knowing that regret is grief and lamenting, maybe that’s all I need to know and just allow myself to grieve the loss.

So, if you have any scripture or a personal story that might help me have some insight into this, please post it as a comment or email me. I would so love to hear the wisdom that God has imparted to you on this matter.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

My Dependent Independence Day Weekend

2010-07-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day weekend! It is most ironic that I am proclaiming my dependence on Christ on Independence weekend. I’m just going to laugh at this for a moment, and it’s okay if you don’t find it a funny as I do:)

As I get going here, let me give you an update. Morgan is doing well, but has realized that even a small amount of activity has a price to be paid in increased pain. Please, don’t feel sorry for her, this is a good thing. Instead I would ask you to pray that God would use this to grow her. Don’t you wish that you could’ve learned and embraced those kinds of lessons when you were 13 or 14? I sure do.

Pray for me too, regarding this. I want to minister to her and be compassionate, without trying to “make everything alright” because only God can do that. I want her to reach out to Him for those things that her daddy and I cannot do for her. We can give her pain medicine, help make her comfortable, and minister to her, but we cannot make her well, physically, emotionally, or spiritually; only He can. Pray for her to see His sufficiency and for her daddy and me to be His tools in drawing her to Him through this. Our praise is that things are going as expected regarding her healing and we are sooooo thankful that there have been no complications! Truly praise the Lord for that!

I also have another update for you regarding my husband’s quest for employment. We were disappointed on Thursday evening to receive a letter informing him that he did not get the position with the company he interviewed with last week. He had an interview with another company this week and did not get that job either. I will be honest and say that I was/am disappointed, VERY. It has been 11 months since he got laid off. I’ve only been concerned about him not having a job for about 8 months, because I had figured that the Lord would’ve provided something by then. Well, God has taken me FAR beyond my time table comfort zone. I have vacillated between trust and despondency through this time, but HE compels me to return quickly to trust (truly it is HIM doing this in me).

I hope it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable or sorry for me that I am struggling; I am learning to not be ashamed for having these very human feelings. I am currently doing a study on sorrow. Yeh, I know it sounds so uplifting, but the truth is…it is. The book and study guide are written by the musician, Michael Card. The book is called A Sacred Sorrow. I bought it more than 3 years ago, but couldn’t muster up the courage to start reading it until a few weeks ago. Basically, the book is showing us how God uses sorrow, which the book calls lament, to draw us closer to Him. Ouch! Not what we want to hear is it? He points out that the Bible is full of laments and the book will be exploring the sorrow and lamenting of Job, David, Jeremiah and Jesus. I’ve just finished the introductory sections, the first four chapters. I couldn’t even begin to summarize it sufficiently, but let me see if I can give you a piece of it to help you understand what God is doing in me. Hopefully, it will encourage you and bless you where God has you right now.

The author, Michael Card, points out how we have been “shushed” in our crying and sorrow from the time we were babies. We don’t really even give ourselves permission to “cry it out”, but instead feel like we are stronger emotionally, morally, physically, and even spiritually if we can just get our emotions under control and stuff them. I mean, we do let ourselves cry a little. We allow people to grieve for a short while, but we expect ourselves and others to pull it together and get on with life. Where is the scriptural basis for that?

The truth is the scriptures are full of lamenting. I’m going to quote the book here from chapter 2 a section called A Harmful Silence (p.20). “Contained somewhere in the heart of these demands to ‘be quiet,’ beneath the sincere attempts at comforting, lay a level of shame and the inescapable message that we should not cry out, we should not behave in such ways; that wanting the comfort of presence and the assurance of (His loving kindness) were really somehow selfish. At that frustrating moment we entered into the very human, fallen aspect of denial, which is the polar opposite of lament.”

I hope I can adequately convey that the bottom line is that the enemy has convinced us that to keep quiet and deny our true feelings of sorrow so that he can get us to live in the false state of denial. You know we’ve all been told that we just need to accept our circumstances or have faith that God will change things or at least use them for good. While those things are true, they often gloss over the pain associated with loss (whatever the loss may be). But God doesn’t ask us to live in denial. And what about Hebrews 11:39 “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.” Do we honestly think that as we read the whole chapter of Hebrews 11 that these people didn’t ever wonder if they were really loved by God when they were being persecuted and the very thing they were told to do did not bring about the results they desired? Do we think that they always felt God’s Presence? Read Job and the Psalms and you will know differently. They did dare to ask, “God where are YOU?” That’s honesty.

He wants a real relationship with us which requires us to be real about our feelings. “If you listen closely enough to the laments of Scripture you will always hear an echo, like the sound of a voice bounding from the wall of a vast empty cathedral. That echo is caused by the emptiness that only comes from a perceived absence of God’s Presence…What torments Job most is not his losses, not even the physical pain he experiences, but the fact that God’s Presence seems to be absent. In the end Job’s troubles are solved NOT by getting back his possessions, nor the children he lost. In the end, Job gets God back.” (A Sacred Sorrow workbook p. 20)

fill me with joy in your presence

Psalm 16:11

Do not cast me from Your presence

Psalm 51:11

Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?

Psalm 10:1

God has forgotten;

He covers His face and never sees

Psalm 10:11

Why, O LORD, do

You reject me and

hide Your face from me?

Psalm 88:14

Jesus lamented, “Why have You forsaken Me?”

“In one way or another it is the theme of all lament. It is the confused cry of all who struggle to live in a fallen world where God’s perceived absence is the real heart of our battle. It is the opposite of the retreat of denial. Lament is the battle cry! … We learn from lament that nothing less than the restored Presence of God will ever satisfy our souls.” (wkbk. p. 20)

Well, maybe I’ve made this too long. Maybe I haven’t been able to let you see how it is that my LORD is sustaining me and drawing me to Him in the midst of my trouble and sorrow. I pray that you will understand. I pray that we will all have the courage to enter into lament with Him, to enter into real worship, to enter in deep relationship with HIM. So, maybe this has the preamble to my declaration.

And now my Declaration of Dependence:

I am no longer my own, but Yours.
Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You,
exalted for You or brought low for You.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
You art mine, and I am Yours.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.

I was introduce to this prayer at Betty Heath’s memorial service a few weeks ago and it seemed to put into words the way that God has been compelling me to live over the past 15 years that He has been pursuing me hard. I cannot do anything without Him and so I declare that I am not my own and that I live in complete and utter dependence on Him. I cannot change our circumstances, but I can trust the One who can. And even if He doesn’t (as He has chosen not to in many situations, not just this current jobless present we live in), I choose to trust Him, I choose to believe, and I pray that He will be glorified in even this broken, lamenting (but not despairing) me.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Update on Morgan & THE Reason to Celebrate

2010-06-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

Sorry, that I haven't updated since Saturday. I was posting quickies on Facebook, so I thought I was covering most people who read this blog, but I have received some emails asking how Morgan is doing, so I thought I'd better post her progress.

She is doing great! She came home Saturday evening. We did not expect her to come home until Sunday evening. She was battling nausea, but we were able to get that and the pain under control with meds. Yesterday afternoon we stopped giving her vicodin, so she is just taking Tylenol for pain now. She must be healing because she took a 3 hour nap yesterday afternoon and then slept 12 hours last night (waking only for medication). We are continuing to pray for good and proper healing. She has an appointment to see the surgeon and remove this cast on July 22. Thank you you all so much for you continued prayers!

Now for THE Reason to Celebrate

Some friends sent me this video from youtube. I love it! It makes me think of how we will all celebrate for all eternity what Jesus has done for us. Really and truly there is nothing more important than what He accomplished through His death and Resurrection! That is THE reason to celebrate! I hope you enjoy the video, and I'm looking forward to hearing more of your stories. I have one from another Warrior Princess that I'll be posting as soon as I can get to it.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Update & A Powerful Word From WP Shyla

2010-06-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

Good Morning! Oh, yes, it's a good morning! First, last night a really slept well and woke up feeling rested after having interrupted or fitful sleep for a few days. Rest is so good! Secondly, I talked to my husband this morning and he said that Morgan had a great night. Her surgeon has already been in to see her this morning and is taking her off the morphine and sending a physical therapist to come work with her and show her how to use the crutches. Also, the swelling in her leg is so minimal that he was able to re-close the cast (he had sawed it open yesterday just in case she had a lot of swelling). AND the best news is that she may even be able to come home today! I promise to post tomorrow morning if she does.

Now to today's post. My dear friend and original member of the Warrior Princesses, Shyla, sent me a Glory Story to post a few days ago. I finally had time to read and edit it and it is so good that I cannot wait another day to get it on here for the rest of you to read. What a wonderful story!

One more thing...I had posted a link to this blog on Facebook to let people know how Morgan is and so a few of you who have never visited here came for a visit. At least one person liked what she read and wondered if this blog was for anyone. YES! It is for anyone who is interested! Please, pass it on to anyone you think would be encouraged by the stories posted here and PLEASE, share your stories as the Lord leads you. I started and moderate this blog, but it is not my blog, it belongs to our Father. All of the stories written and posted here are really HIS stories told through our lives. So, you are always welcomed to share the blog with anyone, and we would love to hear what He has done in you. It is all For His Glory (Sole Deo Gloria).

Thank you again for your prayers for Morgan. Please, do continue to pray for healing for her bones and incisions. And now, I pray that you are blessed by Shyla's story.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Shyla's Story

I Gave You My Baby, You Give Him His

As far as experience has taught me, I am an infertile woman. I had two pregnancies, two miscarriages both in the first two years of my marriage and then never got pregnant again during the remaining 11 years of my marriage. God blessed me with my first daughter almost exactly two years after my second miscarriage. God provided this daughter through an amazing woman named Donna. Donna was a sweet, godly presence of a woman. She chose to meet my husband and me from a book of available adoptive couples provided to her by the Christian adoptive agency we were licensed through. We ended up meeting Donna face to face for an “interview” and shortly thereafter she chose us to parent the baby girl that was growing in her womb and was nearly ready to be born. We only had 3 weeks to get prepared. Over those 3 weeks we continued to talk with Donna on the phone and get to know her. She had invited us into the delivery room and especially wanted me to be right by her side when our baby was born. She wanted me close and ready to see, hold, and love my daughter immediately after she was delivered.

On Nov. 15th in the late evening, Donna called to tell us that she was in labor and was heading to the hospital. We were about 1½ hours away, so we packed our bags for a couple day stay and hit the road. When we arrived at the hospital we were invited into the room. We labored with her, we endured the easy stuff, she endured the torturous stuff. Donna labored thru the night. Around 7:00 in the morning Donna was fully dilated and began to push. After 2 hours of pushing the doctor began to threaten to do a cesarean section and out of pure determination Donna started making slow but steady progress. After a total of 3 hours of pushing and a vacuum, our baby was born. She had some brief complications immediately after her birth so we didn’t get to hold her right away. After a short stint in the NICU, my husband and I were able to hold her and love on her and feed her. Due to a few reasons, Donna would need to stay in the hospital for 72 hours.

We spent this time hanging around the hospital, getting to meet Donna’s friends, co-workers and church friends. Amazingly and miraculously, Donna was warm and hospitable, welcoming to us parenting her daughter. She considered us and our daughter always before her and her baby. With the grace and power that ONLY an Oak of Righteousness could display, she invited us to parent her baby right in front of her. On the evening that Donna was released from the hospital she held a dedication service for all of us. She prepared and led the service herself at the church she had been attending during the short time she had been living in this city. With God’s blessing, she officially surrendered her precious baby into our arms. By God’s grace, this was just the beginning of something that just keeps getting more beautiful.

Our first baby was born in 1997. What would this have to do with the event of 2007? In 2007 I wake up in a nightmare where my husband has been having an affair with one particular woman for over 2 years. He has gotten this woman pregnant. My husband and I are in pain, in crisis, trying to figure out how and whether or not to pursue restoration of our marriage. The big unknown factor is this baby…. How do I overcome the baby?? How does he maintain a relationship with this child if he stays in the marriage? The questions are big and the answers are unknown.

I had told my husband shortly after I found out about the baby that I felt he should do as Abraham did and send the child away, along with his mistress. Hagar and Ishmael. WE are his covenant family and they are secondary to us! Send her and the baby away! At a time when you have no idea which end of life is up, you ponder, scramble, thrash around, trying to figure out what the rest of your life could possibly look like. You consider all sorts of things that you never would have considered when life was easy and intact. One day in March of 2007, I received a phone call from Donna, my daughter’s birth mom. She was fully aware of the crisis we were in and was supportive and prayerful for all of us. With great trepidation, she told me she had a message for me. She reiterated over and over again, that she didn’t want to deliver the message but was doing it out of obedience to God. I assured her that I was a woman who lived able and ready to hear any message and that I would not lash out at her. Me and my God walk pretty close, I know His voice when I hear it. I will know if it’s from Him this time too.

“GIVE HIM THE BABY.”

Love this baby. Faith. Embrace this baby. Faith. Allow your children to love and embrace this child. Keep a baby book for him. Welcome him. “Do you remember the history of Ishmael and Isaac?” she asked me. “Look at the mess it has made. What would happen if you embraced and loved this child instead of sending him away?” (By the way, she didn’t even know that I wanted him sent away.)

And then there was silence on her end…. I imagine she was waiting for the backlash. I told her I had to get off the phone and call my husband,…to give him his baby. She was shocked that I was willing to act so quickly… I confided in her that God had been telling me and preparing me for 2 weeks to do this very thing.

I hung up the phone and called my husband. I told him I wanted him to love his son. I told him that I would include him in our family. I told him that I was committed to loving his son too.

In my arrogance, I expected my husband to give up his son for the sake of me and my children. In God’s gentle goodness to me, He humbled me by providing the VERY woman who gave me her baby to tell me to give him his baby. Donna surrendered herself in the biggest form humanly possible to give me her precious baby. How could I NOT surrender this?

What I have learned about surrender is that there are no regrets when you give it all away. With surrender there is exhilarating joy. A kind of freaked-out-joy, like that of riding a wild roller coaster on which you think you are going to die! So out of control, but so absolutely right where you are supposed to be! Surrender feels like death but what it produces is life. The enemy wants to deceive us into believing it’s going to kill us. No matter what it is. God whispers, “Trust me Daughter. I am going to honor you in whatever you surrender for or because of Me. I will return LIFE to you for your courage.”

Warrior Princess Shyla

　

News on Morgan's Surgery Today

2010-06-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your prayers for Morgan today. Her surgery went really well. It took the full 3 ½ hours but there were no complications. Thank You, God! She woke easily from the anesthesia and was chattering away with the nurses when we finally got to see her. She did great at first. They hooked her up to the morphine pump and she was using it but then the pain started increasing. It got to be so bad that she was in tears and my husband called the nurse and the hospital pediatrician came in to see her. The pediatrician read the surgeon’s notes and realized that while the nurse had administered the morphine, she had not given Morgan the other pain killer he prescribed nor the anti-inflammatory. Once they got those in her the pain reduced but then she got nauseous so they had to give her something for that too. My husband is staying at the hospital with her tonight and we are hopeful that once everything is in her system properly that the pain and nausea will subside and that she will be able to work with the physical therapist tomorrow and begin to use the crutches.

I am so thankful for how well the surgery went and that in spite of the glitch with her pain meds that things will go well tonight and tomorrow. I totally had a peace about everything this morning even though I had an upset stomach and a few other signs of stress. It occurred to me that even though I can’t control how my body responds to the stress, I could control my thoughts and keep going to my Father in prayer. Even though it was stressful, I feel like the Lord had the victory in me today. Thank Father for Your victory and for all of your people who held us up in prayer today!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Morgan's Surgery

2010-06-24T15:16:00.000-07:00

Well, this post is not the usual Warrior Princess post, but so many people have been asking me about Morgan’s surgery and some of you don’t even know why she is having the surgery. So, we’ll start with the reason that Morgan is having surgery, she has a deformity in the way her leg bones grow. Her femurs (thigh bones) grow twisted inward and her tibias (lower leg bones) grow twisted outward. The orthopedic doctors call this “miserable malalignment”. When she was about 9 she pointed out to us that her knees pointed in when she has her feet facing forward to walk, but we didn’t think too much of it since our pediatrician didn’t think there was anything to be concerned about.

Morgan has been dealing with leg pain since she was about 7, but our former pediatrician always attributed the pain to other things. A few months ago the pain began to get worse (Tylenol didn’t even help with the pain at times), and she was beginning to have pain in her ankles and hips as well as the knees. I took her to our new pediatrician who actually looked at her legs and she sent us to a pediatric orthopedic who told us what her problem is and why it is causing her pain. She is actually VERY out of alignment on her right side, which is why she is having surgery on her right leg first.

Tomorrow morning she will be having an osteotomy, which means that the surgeon will cut her femur above the knee and then re-align it so that her knee is pointing forward and then he will cut her tibia and re-align her ankle so that her foot is pointing forward. He will re-attach the bones with plates and screws. Ouch! She’s supposed to be in the hospital for 2-3 days and then she will come home. She will be in a full leg cast for 4 weeks. When they remove that cast she is supposed to get a cast on the lower leg and a brace for her knee and begin physical therapy. One therapist I spoke to told me that it is 3-4 months of physical therapy. When that leg is healed, we are planning on doing the left leg.

So, this mama is a bit anxious about the surgery. I know it is what she needs (we even got a second opinion from another orthopedic surgeon last week). She actually wants it done because she is in pain every day and it is increasing. So for clarity sake, this surgery is being done because she is in pain daily, not for cosmetic reasons. It is just so hard to think about what they are going to do to her and knowing that the surgery and recovery are going to be painful and difficult. In spite of my feelings, I do have a peace about it, but it is still hard to think about all she is going to have to go through. I know that God has prepared her and us for this. A few months ago He was laying on my heart to pray for her regarding a trial that she was going to have to go through. I know that this is for her/our good (physically, but even more spiritually and emotionally), but I still struggle to take every thought captive because I worry about complications, etc.

I am so thankful that my cousin reminded me the other day that God has known about this ever since He formed her in the womb. This is part of His plan, and in that I do have peace.

You

made all the delicate,

inner parts of my body

and knit me together

in my mother's womb.

You

saw me

before I was born.

Every day of my life

was recorded

in your book.

Every moment was laid out

before

a single day had passed.

Psalm 139:13 & 16

I appreciate all of your prayers for Morgan, her surgeon, her healing, and for my anxious thoughts. I am planning on getting on here to post how the surgery went tomorrow night. So, if you are interested, check back on Saturday morning.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

p.s. My husband had a job interview today and he felt like it went really well. He will know by the end of next week. I would appreciate your prayers for that too. Thank you.

Glory Story by WP Stephanie

2010-06-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed by Stephanie sharing one of her stories with us. As I read her story, I thought of how God prepares us for the things He is going to do. I love how He prepared Stehanie and her husband for the work He was leading them into and what a great testimony this is to their children and to the rest of us.

To God Be The Glory,
WP Stacey

Stephanie's Story

This past year and a half has been one of the most difficult times of my life. My husband and I are foster parents and for those of you that have been or are foster parents, need I say more? It has been a calling; most of our family and friends think we’re crazy, but I tell them that God has asked us to do this and how can we argue with Him?

I’m going to back up a little by letting you know that on April 8, 2008, I surprised my husband by planning to renew our wedding vows, this time with a twist. See, we had already been married THREE times; the first time, we eloped and were married by the Justice of the Peace on April 8, 1988. The second time, we were married at St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic Church with family and friends present, white dress and all, on June 1, 1991. And the third time, my husband surprised me for our 10th anniversary and took me to Las Vegas, where we renewed our vows at the Little White Wedding Chapel. For our FOURTH “wedding” on April 8, 2008, our good friend, Pastor Phil Kruis from Rincon Mountain Presbyterian Church, officiated our renewal of vows. This time, we made a Marriage Covenant, which was appropriate this time around, since we were “born again” in October 2002. We have our Marriage Covenant Certificate hanging in our family room (as a reminder) and this is what it says:

“We Believe God created marriage to be holy, to exemplify the glorious, eternal marriage between His Son Jesus Christ and His Church.

We Believe Our marriage is sacred and a lifelong covenant.

We Believe God calls us to pursue unconditional love for each other as modeled by His promise never to leave or forsake us.

Therefore, We, the undersigned, pledge to fulfill our marriage vows and pursue oneness.

We further pledge to bring glory to God through our sacred permanent marriage and by calling others to fulfill their marriage vows.

We agree to joyfully receive each other as God’s perfect gift; to have and to hold from this day forward;

For better or for worse; for richer and for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love, honor, cherish and protect one another;

Forsaking all others as long as we both shall live, so help us God.”

I give you this background because I believe that if we had not had Jesus Christ at the center of our marriage, we might not have made it through this past year and a half as one.

I cannot go into details about the two foster boys we had in our home; I can only tell you that they had been through A LOT before they came into our home. We had taken an 11 month break after the previous children we had in our home (they had been with us for 11 months). Near the end of October, 2008, we were feeling like we were finally ready to take more children into our home. We began praying that God would bring the children into our home that He wanted us to care for. The VERY NEXT DAY, we received a phone call from the Christian agency that we’re licensed through. The worker told me everything she knew about these boys. Immediately my heart went out to them, but I was terrified. My husband and I prayed about it and decided that God wanted us to take these boys into our home; we felt that over the years, He had been preparing us to take in these particular boys.

To make a VERY long story short, it was an exhausting, mentally trying, physically trying, but marriage strengthening year and a half for my husband and me. There were weak times and during those times, Satan tried to attack us. This past December, I began having panic attacks and experienced my first ever bout with depression. I would be freezing and could never get warm, I was tired all the time, I did not want to get out of bed and I didn’t want to see or talk to any of our friends. My husband was a rock for me. We had to fight SO hard for these boys; for their schooling, their mental health needs, and their rights in general, as well as spiritual warfare, as we were giving them a foundation in Christ and their biological mother was not 100% supportive of that.

We built a relationship with their biological mother, which was not easy. During the process of “reunification” of these boys with their mother, our confidence in “the system” was diminished. I made it through, with lots of prayer, but found that I came out of this whole experience different, and not in a way that I wanted to be. I became a very pessimistic person and I have never been that kind of person before. The boys are now living with their biological mom, after I have been their “mom” for a year and a half (which holds its own heartache for me).

Even though our business has not been doing well for the past 2 and a half years, God has allowed us to get away this summer. We are up in the Colorado Rocky Mountains for two months; my husband, my 16 year old son, my 7 year old son and me. I have dubbed this trip “The Roberts Family Retreat”. As our trip began two weeks ago, I began praying reverently for God to change my heart and help me to not think so negatively. I decided that I was going to begin reading 1 John (don’t ask me why) and as I when I went to open my Bible, the Lord took me to 1 Peter. I thought to myself, “Okay, Lord, if that’s where you want me to begin…” Over the next several days, here are some of the things I read that have helped me tremendously:

“Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:1-3

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.’ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. ‘Do no fear what they fear; do not be frightened.’ But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.” 1 Peter 3:8-17

I need to trust in the Lord and rely on Him more than I have been doing. My Heavenly Father knows just what I need.

With love,
WP Stephanie

Remembering Our Adoption Story - Part III

2010-06-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

I finally had time to finish writing our adoption story. I love remembering this story, but this is the first time I've ever written it out. I learned so much by writing it out. Two ladies have sent me stories of remembering things that the Lord has done for them. I am excited to post them on here, but I wanted to finish this story first so I didn't leave you hanging too long. I would love to hear more stories of remembering where God has moved in your life. Even if you decide not to have me post your story here, I highly recommend remembering and writing down the places the Lord has already met you. This has been a powerful experience for me and I believe you will see things you haven't before if you take the time to write or type it out.

Part III

I now resume my story. It was still the same afternoon that we had been in to see our case worker and talk to the birth mom on the phone, and I was telling the Lord that if He really didn’t want us in this match, that He was going to have to shut the door. I picked up the phone and called a friend to tell my story to and get her opinion. No answer. I called three friends and nobody was home! I thought, “Well, who am I going to talk to now?” And it was as if the Lord said, “Why don’t you talk to Me about it?”

Seriously, why was I seeking human counsel instead of going to my Father? Well, because I didn't want to do it His way. It seemed too hard. I was scared and sad, so I told Him so. I told Him that I didn’t want to give up this chance to be a mom, to have a baby. I also knew that He was telling me to just trust Him. Just do what I already knew I needed to do…call Marti and tell her the truth, that God had been very clear that this was not the match for us. I wanted to justify not doing it because it might hurt this birth mom. She might think that we thought there was something wrong with her or her baby and it might make her feel bad. The Lord told me that was an excuse and that He would take care of this dear lady and it wasn’t my job to figure that part out. I just needed to obey.

Trust in the LORD

with all your heart;

do not depend on

your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,

and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

This was the most difficult thing I had ever done (up to that point in my life), so before I could chicken out, I picked up the phone and called Marti and told her that, in spite of my desire to stay in this match and how badly I want to be a mom, I knew that the Lord was telling me that we were not supposed to be in this match. I cried as I told her, but the Lord is so good. She said, “I have been feeling the same way. I felt like the Lord was telling me that this was not the match for you.” I told her that I was worried for the birth mom that it was going to be hard on her that we were backing out, but Marti said that she would talk to her and felt like it would be fine. She told me that she would put our letter back in the “book” that birth parents look at to choose the adoptive couple they want to place their baby with. She said she would also call the Phoenix office and let them know to put us back in the book in their office too.

I got off the phone and just cried until I couldn’t cry any more. Then I called my husband at work and told him what I had done, and I cried some more. He was very understanding and said that he trusted that if that was what the Lord was telling me then that was our answer. Then I just lay on the floor because I just didn’t have the energy to move. A little while later the phone rang. I thought it was one of the friends that I had called earlier calling me back. But it was Marti. It had been about an hour since I had talked to her.

“Stacey, you are not going to believe what I’m going to tell you. I called up to the Phoenix office to tell them to put your letter back in the book because you were no longer in a match, and they said that they’ve had a birth mother waiting for a whole week to see if you were going to stay in the match you were in. Apparently, they had forgotten to remove your letter from their book when you entered into this last match. A birth mom had gone through the ENTIRE book, and said that you were the family that she wanted. When she was told that you were in a match, she said she’d wait. She has been waiting for a whole week! Do you know how incredible this is?”

I was speechless! What if I hadn’t listened? Oh, Lord, I am so sorry that I was so stubborn! Then Marti told me who to call at the Phoenix office to set up a visit with this birth mom. In less than a week, we met our daugther’s birth mother and birth aunt. We all connected right away and developed a very good relationship with our daughter’s birth family. We really came to love them and are so thankful that we got to know them.

I have to tell you the clincher though…Remember in Part I when I said that we decided to open our hearts to the idea of an open adoption and we began praying for our baby’s birth mother? That was almost exactly nine months before our daughter was born! I know it may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but it is huge to me. God put it on our hearts to begin praying over our baby and her birth mother almost from the moment of her conception!

I told this story to my daughter the first time when she was about four years old, and her first response was, “Mommy, I’m so glad you obeyed!” I am too!

"What is more pleasing to the LORD:

your burnt offerings and sacrifices

or your obedience

to His voice?

Obedience

is far better

than sacrifice.

Listening to Him

is much better than

offering the fat of rams.

I Samuel 15:22

Sole Deo Gloria,

WP Stacey

p.s. I continued to pray for the other birth mother after we backed out of the match. I found out later that she ended up deciding to parent instead of placing her baby for adoption.

Remembering Weapon Part II

2010-06-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

When I sat down to write out the rest of our adoption story today I thought that was all I was going to do. I am amazed and surprised at how powerful the weapon of REMEMBER has just shown itself to be! No wonder God tells us to remember!!! I thought the power was in remembering what He has already done and the encouragement and strength that is to us. That is exactly what it did for me when I wrote the other day.

But today, He revealed my sin in my current circumstance by allowing me to look back at the sin of my past circumstance. I am amazed! I pray you are blessed and challenged when you read this today. God is so good!

Part II

Today I start in May 1996. We have been in one match (that means a birth mother had chosen us to parent her yet-to-be-born baby and we were working on establishing a relationship with her). But due to circumstances, that one hadn’t worked out and we were still waiting for a baby. We were newly in a match that was a really positive one. Our case worker was as sure as one can be, that this mom was going to place the baby and go through with the adoption plan. The baby was due in August. The birth mom lived out of state, so our relationship was going to have to develop long distance. Everything seemed great. We were finally going to get to be parents!

Our case worker was out of town on vacation for two weeks, so we didn’t really have the opportunity to work on developing a relationship with the birth mom since it would first be facilitated through our case worker via the phone. When Marti, our case worker, came back we met with her at the agency and talked about this match and to have our first conversation with the birth mom on speaker phone in Marti’s office. I asked Marti what she thought about this birth mom and her likeliness to actually place the baby with an adoptive family. I asked for two reasons; first, because we already had one match fall through and I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much (self protecting, again) and secondly, because something kept nagging at the back of my mind. What had been at the back of my mind, or more accurately, in the middle of my heart, was that I didn’t have a peace about this match and I couldn’t understand why. I kept looking at it from different angles and asking questions and praying that if this wasn’t the match we were supposed to be in, that God would show us.

Marti answered my questions and we talked about this nagging feeling I was having. I couldn’t call it what it really was. It was doubt. There was a doubt in my heart, a lack of peace, that we were supposed to be in this match. But I wanted a baby so badly that I couldn’t say that! I couldn’t turn down the possibility of getting a baby if someone was willing to place with us, even if I didn’t think it was the right match for us. How could I want a baby so much, and then say, “I don’t think this is the baby for us,”? Then I dared ask the question, “How often is the adoptive couple the party to back out of the match?” I did not expect the answer she gave. She said, “I’ve never had an adoptive couple back out of a match.” What!? Then how could I say that I don’t have a peace about this? There must be something wrong with me! No, I'm going to ignore this thougth, His voice. They'll all think that I'm crazy. We're just going to keep going forward until He closes the door!

Marti asked if we wanted to go ahead with the phone call to the birth mom and my husband said that we did and I still didn’t have the guts to say that I didn’t have a peace about it. I still wanted a baby more than anything. I couldn’t say no. So, we had our first conversation on speaker phone and it was comfortable. There was NOTHING to make me think that this couldn’t work. But the Holy Spirit would not give me peace. I ignored Him. I smiled and thanked Marti and told her how we looked forward to meeting and talking with this birth mom again soon. I was NOT going to give up this dream to be a mom. I was NOT going to give up a chance to have this baby! My husband went back to work and I went home. I listened to talk radio on my drive home to keep my mind distracted. I can do this! I want this! I won’t listen to You.

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment. Isaiah 50:10-11

If I had known this verse from Isaiah then, maybe I wouldn’t have been so stubborn, but I didn’t, and I was determined to have what I wanted. I rationalized that what I wanted, to be a mother, for Kraig to be a father, to love a baby…these were noble things, good things, not sinful things. So, why did I feel like I was rebelling? Because I was. I knew the Spirit was telling me that this was not our baby. This was not the match that we were supposed to be in. But if I let go and told Marti that I knew in my heart that this was not the match for us, when would I get a baby? Would I ever? If God really didn’t want us in this match, then He could shut the door. Yes, that is what He should do. If He doesn’t want us to do this He is big enough and powerful enough to shut the door. So, You do it, God because I can’t (won’t).

I was a teacher and it was summer time, so when I got home I had no work deadlines or anything important to keep my mind occupied to keep me from thinking about this nagging feeling in my heart. “Okay, God, I’ll help You out. If You don’t want me to do this, then I’m going to call a friend and she will just tell me that she doesn’t think this is a good idea. Okay? You shut this door for me if that is what You want. I mean, I do want to obey You, so You do this. Okay?”

Hmmm…looking back I see my stubbornness, but at that moment I thought I was being so gracious to our Lord. Amazing that He loves me! Here I was telling THE Creator of the Universe what to do and how to do it. But you know what I realize right now? My God loves me. My Savior came to save me, set me free, NOT to condemn me. He should’ve struck me with a bolt of fire from Heaven right then like He did to those rebellious ones in the desert who spoke against Moses. After all, I wasn’t challenging God’s man, I was challenging God Himself!

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

Jeremiah 31:3

We love because

first loved us.

I John 4:19

As I read my own story I am leveled with the love the Father has for me/us! I am undone as I see the audacity of my sinful heart!

Well, I was planning on telling you the rest of the story right now, but I can’t. I have been reminded of my rebellion and how He loves me. How He has lavished me in love when I certainly didn’t deserve it. What I am thinking right now is that I need to go reflect on what I am telling God that He needs to do in my current circumstances. It is good for us to remember, because I know how this story turns out. I know how much I wanted what I wanted, and how I justified that He should not deny me because it was a good thing. But He wanted ALL of my heart then just likes He wants all of it right now.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.”

I can see clearly now, though I honestly couldn’t at the time, that I was making motherhood, having my own baby, my god. Because He loves me, He wouldn’t give me a peace. He knew it was in my best interest to put what I wanted most on the altar and proclaim the truth that He is worthy. Could I give up what I wanted most and proclaim the truth of His worthiness? Could I say that even if He never gave me a baby, that He was enough? And can I do that with what He has before me today? Am I willing to die to self, to my “noble” ideas and desires and say that they are nothing compared to Him? I must. My heart compels me so. Even though I am weak right now, and don’t want to give up my dream, He is so great that He compels me to say, “You are enough. Your will be done. You are worthy!”

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

p.s. I will tell you what happened next time, but I ask you to pray for me that I can live what I am committing to do right now. He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

A Warrior Princess Weapon Part I

2010-06-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

I have really been struggling with living in our current circumstances; coming out of a year of more health issues, my husband being out of work for 10 months, depleting our savings,and now my daughter facing a pretty serious surgery later this month. It is hard not to cave in to depression and despair when we keep praying and God does not move or change anything. I have definitely done my share of praying and crying out (and plain old crying), but the Lord is telling me to remember what He has already done. So, the weapon I am using this week is REMEMBER.

But do not be afraid of them;

remember well

what the Lord

your God did

to Pharaoh and
to all Egypt.

Deuteronomy 7:18

There are so many places that the Lord tells us to remember. It is for our own good because so much of what we fear and worry about has not even happened yet. And if if it does happen, we need to remember that He is ALWAYS in control. Remembering past situations where things seemed fearful and out of control help us to see that God has already brought us through difficulties, and give us encouragement that He is still in control in our current pain. So, what I have to share with you right now is for my own strengthening. I choose to remember what He has already done. It is a bit of a long story, so I'm going to post it in several parts.

About 15 years ago, God made it very clear that we were not able to have children. I am thankful, as painful as it was, that we had a definite answer and knew that our best option was to persue building a family through adoption, so I will spare you the struggle and pain it took us to get to that point, and begin with the place where we began the process to get certified for adoption.

When we started the adoption classes we thought, “Open adoption has worked fine for some of the couples we know, but we don’t want that.” The truth is, it was scary to think about having a relationship with the birthmother of our child. We wanted our baby to be “our baby” and we didn’t want to have to share him/her with the birth family. Plus, what if our child ended up wanting a relationship with the birth parents and liked them more than us, and the list of fears went on from there. That was self protection and fear, and God wanted to free me from them.

For God has not given us a

spirit of fear and timidity,

but of power,

love,

and self discipline.

II Timothy 1:7

The night of our first adoption class at the Christian agency where we were pursuing adoption through, our instructor addressed this issue of fear head on. She said that instead of fearing the birth family’s involvement in our lives, that we should consider that God had ordained each of our families and that this might be an opportunity to minister to our baby’s birth parents. What if we took the wind out of the enemy’s sail and turned it around as an opportunity to bless instead of self protect? What a freeing thing it was to admit that we have this fear, but trust that the Lord had everything orchestrated for His purposes and our good, and ultimately the good of our child and his/her birth family. The only way we knew to accomplish that would be to take every fear and/or desire to the Lord. There were a lot of them because the enemy had been heaping a lot of lies on us as we struggled through our infertility; thoughts like us not being good enough, so that's why God wouldn't allow us to get pregnant.

We demolish arguments

and every pretension

that sets itself up

against the knowledge

of God,

and we take captive

every thought

to make it obedient

to Christ.

IICorinthians 10:5

So, we left there that night in October ready and willing to face our fear, open to a relationship with our baby’s birth family, and with hearts excited and praying for our baby’s birth mother. That night in October we began to discipline our hearts and minds to think, act and pray out of power, love, and truth. We chose to take captive our fearful thoughts and replace them with the truth that God is in control, and we began to pray for our baby and his/her birth mother.

As I look back, this was a great training ground for things we were going to face later. It had been painful going through the process of finding out that we could never have children on our own, but since we had no other option but to trust our Savior, He was already preparing me to trust Him completely even in things that I felt like I had some options to make things go my way. He was getting me ready to trust Him in COMPLETE abandon. I'll tell you about that next time.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

2010-06-01T22:11:00.000-07:00

I just have to post Zac's other video. It, too, is powerful and inspiring. I was reading from the book Praying God's Word by Beth Moore this morning and came across this quote by Charles Spurgeon.

I write this with all reverance: God Himself

cannot deliver a person who is not in trouble.

Therefore, it is to some advantage to be in

distress, because God can then deliver you.

Even Jesus Christ, the Healer of me, cannot

heal a person who is not sick.

Therefore, sickness is not an adversity for us,

but rather an advantageous opportunity

for Christ to heal us.

The point is, my reader, your adversity

may prove your advantage

by offering occassion for the display

of divine grace.

So, what are you facing today? Can you thank the Lord for it? This can be a hard thing to do! It is even harder to do it with a good attitude.

Romans 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

What If You Could Write a Letter To Yourself From The Future?

2010-05-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

This video has been on my mind for quite a while. I know the family of this young man and have been aware of his battle with cancer for over a year.  I decided I needed to post this video because this is the same battle we are all in as we seek to do Kingdom Work. I know Zac's message is inspriational, but I don't want to just be inspired and move on. I want to live out what I believe! As a Warrior Princess, as a woman who is fighting hard to know what to do with the place I am in life right now, I wonder what I would say to myself if I were ten years older and past these present circumstances.   That is not possible, but I know Someone who already is on the other side of my circumstances, and He has everything under control. I don't want to waste anything. I want ALL of my life to count for the Kingdom!

So I have been asking myself, "What am I doing to make a difference? How am I working to accomplish God's purposes for my life?" Then I realized that the reason I haven't been on here for over a week is because I have been busy doing Kingdom Work.

I guess most people don't think of it as Kingdom Work, but as I thought of Zac's video and have been asking the Lord how I could be serving Him in the middle of my life's circumstances I have realized that I am doing what He has called me to do. I've been struggling over the lack of employment for my husband and trying to support and bless him and my children and keep life as positive and pleasant as I can. I've been working on school projects with my kids, keeping the house, making meals, paying bills, scheduling appointments and figuring out insurance stuff; just regular, mundane stuff, but it's the stuff that I've been called to do.

When I watched Zac's video again I asked myself, "Ten years from now, will I regret what I am doing today? Would it be better if I got a job, or put off spending time on one of my children's projects so that I could make a post on the blog, or whatever might seem more important? What do You want me to do, Lord?"   Every time I ask, He points me back to the fact that supporting my husband, taking care of our home and our family, those things are His number one priority and ministry for me. And so, I've been doing the Kingdom Work of caring for my family and doing projects and sitting still with my Savior. I haven't posted anything for over a week, or gotten a job, or done anything else to impact the world, but He hasn't called me to do those things.   This is the work He has called me to. This is good, hard work! This is a full life! I am sure I will have regrets when I look back, because I am a sinful human, but at least these things won't be the things I regret.

My challenge and purpose in sharing this video and my thoughts today is to ask you, "What do you think you would say to yourself 10 years from now when you look back on your current life circumstances? Do you know if you are doing the Kingdom Work that He has called you to do?" It's different for each one of us, so why don't you go to the One who knows the future and ask Him today.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey
p.s. Zac went to be with the Lord earlier this month. Sole Deo Gloria!

Judy's Glory Story - Stones of Remembrance

2010-05-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

I am so pleased that a few people have sent me some glory stories. The one I am posting today is from my sweet friend, Judy. I have heard parts of this story at different times, but never the whole thing at once. As I read it I was amazed at the whirlwind of blessing that this family was experiencing in such a short time period! I love how Judy refers to remembering this story as a stone of remembrance. I love that she remembers how God moved in their life in a mighty way when she is struggling. That is absolutely one of the big reasons for telling our glory stories, to remind ourselves and to encourage each other, but mostly because He deserves the glory! Thank you for sharing this with us, Judy:)

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Judy’s glory story

God picked us up in Milwaukee and dropped us off in Tucson. Matt lost his job in February 2004. I was 6 months pregnant with Maddie and Alex was 2 and a half. Our COBRA payment for medical insurance was more than our mortgage payment. Because there were not many jobs available in Milwaukee, by March Matt was staying in Phoenix looking for a job and I was in WI with Alex trying to get the house sold. After coming up empty looking for jobs, he threw his resume out on an internet site for finding jobs. Someone called him the next day from Tucson to set up a phone interview. A couple days later he had an in person interview. He was offered the job in the third week of March.

He came home on Tuesday evening and we were on our way to Tucson on Friday, not knowing a sole in our new city. We flew down with what we could carry and stayed in temporary housing, Matt started working and I started looking for a doctor to deliver our soon-to-be-born Maddie. We sold our house in Wisconsin, bought a house in Tucson, moved in on the 8th of May and had a c-section on the 14th. With the exception of jaundice, the delivery and hospital stay went well and I came home four days later with our little Madison Renee.

During this time, we had friends that: prayed for us, encouraged us, paid Matt's plane fare to Arizona to look for jobs, offered to pay our mortgage, made emergency runs to our house to find the elusive birth certificate (that's a whole other glory story), were at our house when the company packed us up, were at the house when the company shipped us, and cleaned our house. Good friends and my mom came down on moving day to help get things unpacked. I was little help since I was due to deliver the next week. My mom stayed for three weeks and did about a hundred loads of laundry, trying to set up the house and wash all the baby clothes that had been stored from Alex. God brought friends to me when I felt so alone and overwhelmed with two small children not knowing anyone. We found a church that was preaching the Word without apology. We love Tucson, a place we never would have picked if Matt hadn't lost his job and God directed us here. Matt is working in his "dream job" making twice the salary he was making in Milwaukee. Did I mention we did not pay a dime for Maddie's delivery? Not one dime.

When I am doubting and a little unclear about life, this story is like when the folks of the Old Testament set up a monument of stones so they would not forget what God had done. God provided for us through our friends, family and people we were yet to meet. He was in complete control. He was then, is now and forever will be totally glorious!

WP Judy

Refreshing

2010-05-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

Last week I posted that I was struggling. The truth is, I was overwhelmed with life and the constant battle to be strong, etc. The Lord let me have my melt down and I felt no condemnation in it. I was just tired and needed to rest, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The spiritual resting thing seemed strange to me because aren’t we always “supposed to” be seeking hard after the Lord? Well, His grace is sufficient and He let me just rest in Him. I told Him I had nothing to give and He just poured into me through the prayers and words of friends, through songs of truth, through just resting.

Then He did some other things for me. My daughters have been taking an art class and I wasn’t going to do the next session because we don’t have the money, but He put it on friend’s heart to pay for the art class. My husband wanted to take us out for lunch on Mother’s Day, and a friend gave me a gift card to the very restaurant that we wanted to go to. On Saturday a friend gave me a very sweet “Thank you for being my friend” card and in it was a gift card for Target. On Mother’s Day we went to Macaroni Grill and had to wait an extra 40 minutes even though we had reservations, so the manager said he’d make it “worth our while” and when we got the bill he’d reduced our bill by a third!

That night we went to the Nathan Clark George concert and it was as if God was speaking right to me the whole time about how much He loves me. Afterward we talked with Nathan for a while and Kraig bought two CDs. When we were leaving Nathan followed us to the door and gave us the DVD that Franklin Springs made about their family traveling around the country in an RV. He just gave it to us and I started crying as I said thank you, because I had been wanting to see it ever since it came out last year because it is a secret desire of mine to travel around the country with our family in an RV. I never asked God for the DVD, it was such an “extra” type thing, but He knew my heart and He gave it to me through Nathan. I was so overwhelmed with blessings! Then as we were driving away, I opened the DVD and found the money that Kraig had paid him for the two CDs he had bought. Kraig and I both started crying again at what God was doing!

Remember my article about kisses from God? Well, do you ever just get overcome with your love for your children, not because of anything they’ve done, but just because you love them, and you just pick them up and smother them with kisses? That’s what it felt like God was doing to me. Trust me, I hadn’t done anything to deserve it. I was just making it through each day, but it was as if He was picking me up and covering my face in kisses and saying, “I love you. I love you. I love you!” Thank You, Father! I love You too.

Proverbs 11:25b

…those who refresh others will themselves

be refreshed.

None of our circumstances have changed, but I feel refreshed for the next leg of this journey. Honestly, just being able to rest without feeling any condemnation was so good that I should say, that would have been enough. But my Father also gave me friends who prayed with me and for me poured truth and life into me like nourishment to my soul, and that would have been enough. But then He used some to pour physical blessings on me, and that was the lavishing of God on my heart after He had already filled me again with truth and strength! Thank you, each one who prayed with me and for me last week, for those who sent me an email, called or spent time with me, for those who gave tuition, gift cards, and music. May God refresh you as He has used you to refresh me!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

I Don't Need This, Or Do I?

2010-05-10T22:53:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed that my cousin, WP Sarah, is also my friend! We live on opposite sides of the country, but we talk at least once a week and share in each other's blessings and heartaches regularly. Actually, I don't have any sisters, but Sarah is like a sister to me. We can talk for an hour (if our children let us), or we can call with a 2 minute "you have got to laugh at this with me" moment. I pray for her almost every day, and I know that if I am troubled by something all I have to do is call her and she will be praying for me. I'm so very blessed to have Sarah, my cousin, my "sister", my friend! Here is something she emailed after our conversation today and she gave me permission to post it. May it change your perspective on your circumstances today and may you be richly blessed.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

I Don't Need This, Or Do I?

In my weekly phone call to my cousin today we had mostly woes to discuss. Not that either of us pursue complaining as a career, but it would have probably sounded that way to an outsider. We took turns listing our difficulties of the week. In reflection I was sad that I hadn't shared any of the blessings with her.

One of my whine moments was in explaining that after 6 months of nursing and feeding difficulties, and a nodule on my son’s tongue, his doctor was FINALLY sending us to an E.N.T. to see what his thoughts are on my baby’s issues. I commented that this was not what I needed. Just like I don't need the extra specialist I have to see right now, just like my cousin doesn't need for her daughter to be in pain, so on and so forth.

However, God reminded me of the truth. The truth is I have a son with special needs that will be 8 next month. The truth is the last 8 years of my life have been spent in joyful, agonizing, painful, blessed moments. I could say that I didn't need any of it… the struggles, the years without sleep (this is not an exaggeration as he has a severe sleep disorder, we spent years on 1-3 broken hours of sleep at night), the regression, the aggression, the list of ever changing ever growing diagnosis, the hours at doctors offices, the tears, the weeping, the "I never thought I would go through this" moments. But is that the TRUTH? No, quite frankly it isn’t. The truth is God knew exactly what I would go through, and He let me go through it. The truth is that I did need it. I needed the compassion, the patience, the depth of love, the refining. I needed all of it. Apparently, I still need more.

As I mulled over these thoughts this evening, I was reminded of Ruth in the Bible. Did she need to lose everything she had ever known and loved? Her husband, her family, her religion, and her country? To live with and serve her mother-in-law? The truth, yes. It was exactly what she needed to know and serve the Living God. Her blessings abounded and she was given a place in the lineage of Christ. WOW! I don't think she was thinking, "How incredibly blessed I am," when her husband died. Or, "What a neat adventure. I wonder what blessings lie ahead for me," as she was leaving her country to follow Naomi. Seriously, how many of us would leave our families, religion, culture, to go to a foreign land, let alone with our mother-in-law. Let me just say....ya right, let me jump right on that caravan.

Seriously, God knows exactly what I need!

Today, my special needs son wanted to sit by me at dinner, he wanted me to hug him five times. He wanted me to rub his back. He hugged me gently and told me he loved me. If you only knew how my heart weeps for moments like these. Yesterday as I sat in church on Mother's Day I thanked God for my children and shed silent tears for the separation I feel with my special little boy. Today, I was so blessed by his love. God heard me. God felt my need for those moments, for those hugs, for those statements of acceptance and need from my son. Today I felt the love of God in my little boy.

God knows my heart, and He knows what I need.

WP Sarah

Sometimes

2010-05-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough week. This Warrior Princess had to rest and reflect in the midst of the pain of her circumstances this week and was not able to do much else. Today God has given me the ability to reflect just a little bit, but all I have to give today is a quote that Warrior Princess Vanessa shared with me this week in the midst of her own struggles.

"Sometimes God gives wisdom. Sometimes God gives a promise. Sometimes God simply says, 'I understand your heart.' And that's enough." Vanessa Finsinger

The only thing I can add is a word from His Word:

Psalm 94:18-19

When I said, "My foot is slipping,"

Your love,

O LORD,

supported me.

When anxiety was great within me,

Your consolation

brought joy to my

soul.

Sole Deo Gloria,

WP Stacey

Ruth's Glory Story

2010-04-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

In my post last week, titled "A Kiss From God," I put out a request for "Glory Stories" from other Warrior Princess Sisters. Today I received a "Glory Story" from Ruth. I hope you are as blessed by her story as I was, and that you will all give glory to God for what He did for Ruth.

We would love to hear one of your Glory Stories too, so send them to my email, or post them as a comment. Nothing (not even comments) gets posted until I read and post them. All comments go directly to my email first. So if you want me to edit your story before posting it, I will be happy to do that. That seems to be what most of you are concerned about, your writing ability. But what I have to say in regard to the "I don't think I'm a good writer" excuse, is that it's not about you. It's about giving glory to God. I think giving glory to God is the focus of most of the readers on this blog, so don't worry about your ability. He is able to use your story to encourage others and bring glory to Himself, so share from your heart and give Him the GLORY.

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

Warrior Princess Ruth's Glory Story

After 17 years of marriage, my husband decided that he wanted out so he could pursue other relationships. We had drifted so far away from God at that point, I wasn't sure God would even remember who I was. As soon as my husband made the decision to move out, I made the decision to go back to Christ Community Church and put God first in my life. That decision brought some wonderful mentors into my life. Jennifer Beauchamp was the mentor who came along side me during my first summer separated, mentoring me and doing a relationship and boundaries Bible study with me. God definitely orchestrated that relationship and has used it to draw me closer to Him.

My big "glory" moment is really a peace and comfort moment. I need to preface this story with the fact that I am horrible, absolutely horrible, at Scripture memorization.

My soon-to-be ex-husband had scheduled our court date. Since he filed, I technically did not need to be in court, but I felt this overwhelming need be there as the gavel descended on our marriage. All day I felt sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears. I had no idea how I was going to survive as a single parent. I only worked part-time in my own bookkeeping business since I primarily took care of our children. I had no idea how I was going to juggle the added work I would need to take on in order to make ends meet. My family lives in Chicago so I had no family support system to lean on.

As the judge called him up to question him and then approve the divorce, the sadness was overwhelming. At that point I heard an audible voice say, "I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you. Plans to give you a hope and a future". It was so loud and clear that I looked to my right thinking the person sitting next to me had said it to me. He was turned away from me and speaking in Spanish to the person next to him. At that moment, I knew God had spoken words of comfort and assurance to me. I felt a peace wash over me. I still felt great sadness, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was a distinct feeling of having His arms around me. I realized that I had been abandoned by my husband, I had abandoned God, but God had NEVER abandoned me. He was waiting for me. Waiting for the moment I would feel Him like I had never felt Him before.

It's been a long journey these past 8 years. God chose to bring me healing (still ongoing) through wonderful, Christian counseling. And He chose to bring me Kevin who is a godly man who loves me, loves my boys and above all else, loves the Lord. It is so evident in his life. He's been a wonderful support and encouragement to me and to my boys.

WP Ruth

A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

2010-04-27T01:01:00.000-07:00

WP Sarah wrote quite a different Glory Story. I hope you are encouraged by Sarah's post today to look at whatever circumstances you are facing and see what God might really be doing in your circumstances like Sarah did today. How amazing that our God takes such awful circumstances and answers our prayers in ways unexpected. Sarah, thank you for sharing! I am sure many Warrior Princesses will be praising God with you at His revelation of the wolf in your midst, and praying for a wonderful replacement.

Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey

Sarah's Story - A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

So I have spent my day in shock, crying and trying to come to terms with what has happened. I'm assuming you've seen the news about a young mother who left her daughter and husband to run to Miami with her lover. This woman committed adultery, abandoned her daughter, and husband, and sent a community into shock as they searched for her and prayed for her safe return. So how does this affect me a committed mom devoted to my husband and children. Well, a relative of this woman was in my employment to work with my special needs son. Her aunt called me to cancel working with my son on Thursday which I graciously accepted. Friday I recieved an email from this aunt stating I could"fire her if I wanted" for not showing up. Of course considering there was a family emergency I was not going to do this. However through our communication I offended the aunt when I challenged that she was punishing my family for what her niece did.

Today this aunt showed up, to work with my son, in an emotional, angry, rant. I suggested if she were that upset she should probably leave. For the next fifteen minutes I listened to this woman verbally destroy my character, and defend this wicked niece of hers. She said I had no compassion. Now this aunt has worked for my son for over a year and a half. NEVER in that time have I even heard her raise her voice. I was in complete shock to hear her rage at me. She left my house and sent some completely opposite texts. Stating she could come pick up my son and take him to therapy and so on. It was really scary that she could flip-flop like that. So my husband took a witness with him and spoke with her and her husband this evening. She showed up late, laughed mockingly in my husband's face when she got there, and then raged at him as well. Her husband acted like it was completely normal.

So why am I sharing this? Well, I read Stacey's blog and realized I needed to choose to rejoice. Then God reminded me that I have been praying that He would remove those that are around my husband, myself, and my family that would do us harm. Then I scrolled down through Stacey's previous blogs and read the verse about are you surprised when these things happen? Well, quite frankly, Yes, I was very surprised. Now however I realize I shouldn't have been. We open our hearts, our home, our lives to strangers on a day to day basis. These strangers are in my home nearly 100 hours per week. God removed someone who could have done harm to us. I was shocked that this person was a wolf in sheep's clothing, and I had trusted her with the well being of my family.

I choose now to praise God that we had this eye-opening experience. I choose to trust Him. I am choosing to not be afraid. I am praising God that he has protected my family. I choose to NOT listen to the enemy that stood in my home this day and taunted me to curse the Lord. I cannot wait to see what God will do.

May the truth be revealed in Glory.

May God who IS, be my ALL.

Living in Expectation of Miracles!

WP Sarah

I Choose

2010-04-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 12:4-6

In that day you will say:

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on His

name;

make known among the nations what

He has done,

and proclaim that His name is exalted.

Sing to the Lord, for He has done

glorious things;

let this be known to all the world.

Shout aloud and sing for joy,

people of Zion,

for great is the Holy One of Israel

among you."

I was reading this passage today for my study on prayer. We were supposed to list the actions we are to take, so I started listing them:

• Praise the LORD
• I will trust
• I will not be afraid
• Draw from the well of salvation with JOY
• Tell others to give thanks
• Call on His name
• Make known what He has done
• Sing to the LORD Let His glorious works be known
• Shout aloud
• Sing for joy
• Proclaim that His is exalted

Well, things are kind of tough around our house right now. My husband lost his job 9 months ago. We have lived frugally, but have used up all our savings and have now cashed in my IRA from when I was a teacher. We are having to make payments on medical bills because a surgeon messed up my gallbladder surgery last year and damaged my liver. My husband started a new business in a completely new line of work (sales) and we are not making enough to cover all of our monthly expenses, so he keeps working more hours and we have little time together as a family, and almost no time as a couple. To top it all off my 13 year old dislocated her elbow and possibly fractured it playing a game at church last night. We are still covered for health care through COBRA, but our deductible is $6,500 per person in our family; which means that we will have to pay for the whole ER visit last night, and whatever expenses we incur when we see the orthopedic specialist later in the week. So, it seems ridiculous to “praise the LORD, make known what He has done, sing for joy, proclaim that He is exalted, etc.” But when I read this passage this morning, He did fill me with hope.

I CHOOSE to praise the LORD. I choose to trust Him. I am choosing not to be afraid. I choose to draw from His well of salvation WITH JOY. I choose to call on His name, to shout aloud, to sing for joy. I choose to follow Him. I choose to NOT listen to the enemy. I cannot wait to see what my God will do. I choose to rejoice today!

To HIS Glory,
WP Stacey

A Kiss From God

2010-04-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

I have had this on my mind for that past few days but have not had the time to sit and type it out. This morning as I sit with my computer to type this out I wondered if/how I could because the events of yesterday were so painful. So, how do I begin?

Well, what has been on my heart is “Glory Stories,” as my friend, Jane, calls them. What is a “Glory Story?” Well, I’ve never asked Jane to define it, but the one’s she has told bring glory to God and show His tender love for her. The ones I have experienced are places in life where God has bent down and given me a “kiss”, just because He loves me. Sometimes my life circumstances have been overwhelming and the kiss just said, “I’m still here. I care. I love you.” Sometimes everything seems to be going along fine, and He still bends down to give me a kiss… just because. So, why do I wonder about talking about “Glory Stories” today? Because of pain.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed. I Peter 4:12-13

Yesterday I ended up spending the afternoon with a dear friend who is in the middle of a whirlwind of crisis. I grieved with her and for her yesterday. This has been on-going, and building, and it’s not over. There is a hard road ahead. Her burden is great. My heart is heavy for her. I know she reads this blog and I didn’t want to seem like, “Life is great! Count your blessing and everything will be better, or at least you can try to feel better.” I don’t want to pretend that if we “just focus on the positive, we’ll feel better.” So, sharing “Glory Stories” today is in no way an effort to have a better attitude, to cover over the real hurt that my friend is experiencing or the hurt I’m feeling for her. No, I’ve decided to go ahead and talk about “Glory Stories” today because God is good all the time; even when we don’t feel good about life. He loves us and has our best in mind whether our circumstances are comfortable or excruciating. And He always deserves all the glory!

So, I have a little “Glory Story” to share with you. It seems so small right now against the backdrop of my friend’s pain, but even a little kiss from my Father is a delight and regardless of my circumstances He is always worthy to be praised.

Last week, the day after I wrote the last post, which happened to be on prayer, my 8 year old daughter was practicing her new songs for piano. The first day of practice is always the most difficult because she has to struggle through learning the hand position and notes, etc. and she can sometimes get quite frustrated. I had left the house to run an errand when I got a phone call from 8 year old telling me how frustrated she was with a new song that was more difficult. Being a practical woman, I suggested that she practice hands separately today (like she’s done in the past) just to get it down and put them together tomorrow. She seemed satisfied to try that and got off the phone to get to work.

As I continued driving to my destination the whole matter of prayer came back into my mind, which is a good thing since I am studying it right now. And I thought, “Why did I just offer her advice and not pray with her too? Isn’t this an opportunity to point her to the Father for her needs?” So I called her back and asked her if we could pray about her difficult new song before she starts practicing it again. We prayed for Jesus to give her the strength to persevere in difficulty and we prayed that she would practice her song “to the glory of God” (I Corinthians 10:31). Then she happily got off the phone and went to work, and I reached my destination.

The great part is that on my return trip home I received a phone call from my 8 year old. She said, “Mommy I went and practiced the song after we prayed and I did it with BOTH hands and I did it right!” She was so excited that she was bubbling over! We started saying things like, “Thank You, Jesus!” and “Wooo Hooo! Our God is awesome!” and just reveled in the fact that our God is so loving that He cares that a little girl needs help practicing a piano song. Even better, as the mama of that little girl, is the blessing of seeing my daughter go to her heavenly Father and seeing her experience real relationship with Him. I pray that every day things like that will keep her going to Him and keep her in real relationship with Him. So, I got two kisses for the price of one in that. One, He spoke to my heart in answering my request to help my little girl, and two, seeing my daughter revel in God’s work in her! Woo Hoo! Thank You, Jesus!!!!!

So, will you share your “Glory Story” with us? It’s all for His glory!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

You Can Pray Very Simply

2010-04-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

So, on Wednesday evening I began a new study on prayer with some women at church. My friend, Vanessa, who wrote the article, "Coffee Meditations" that I posted on here a week ago, wrote and is teaching this study on prayer. Even the introduction night was great with the scripture she pulled out and had us read and discuss. (Matthew 14:22-33, Mark 9:14-27, Luke 7:1-10, and Luke7:11-17) She asked us to read and discuss the following questions:

Who was praying?
What do they say in their prayer?
Why?
What is the answer to the prayer?
This interaction says something about God's character. What did we learn from this prayer and its answer?

I think for me the most profound passage was Luke 7:11-17. This one seems to not have anyone praying, yet Jesus' "heart went out to her" and He performs a miracle. Why that is profound to me is that it is a reminder that He knows our hearts and loves us and will speak to the longings of our hearts; answer unspoken/unspeakable requests of the heart.

Vanessa talked about all the books and lists and methods of praying that are available, but like me, she is advocating simply going to God as we are, where we are, without methodology. It was good to hear her talk about that and even better to read about it in Scripture, because I sometimes wonder if our circumstances wouldn't be better if I knew how to pray better. I'm so glad that God just meets me where I am. I'm so glad that having a relationship with Him and seeking His face are more important to Him than me being able to get this prayer thing "right".

So, when I did the first day's homework and we were reading the "Lord's Prayer" from Matthew 6, I decided to read from my new parallel Bible (NASB & Message). When I read the Message version I was releived and heartened at the smiplicity. I post it here for you to read:

Matthew 6:5-13 (MSG)
"And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

"Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best— as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

(I don't read the Message exclusively. Actually, it's the last place I usually go, but I am finding that sometimes it breaks it down (the language, that is) into such simpler terms that it gives me a new perspective.)

To those of you who are taking the study with me on Wednesday nights, I'd love to read what you are learning and have you comment on this blog. To those who didn't start with us on Wednesday night, but would like to join us there is room and you can still jump in. And if you don't have time to join us for the study, but have something to share on prayer, we'd love to read your comments too.
Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey

I Can't Get It Right! Duh!

2010-04-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

Did you ever try to do the right thing and find that it was actually the thing that was tripping you up? Do you know what I mean? Like I desire to be a good servant of the Most High God and to be a “good mom,” so I have memorized the LOVE VERSES from I Corinthians 13, and I have required my children to learn them too. When we have a conflict in the family, we often go to these verses to ask ourselves where we are wrong and what we should be doing instead. So wise. So pious.

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient,

love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,

it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self seeking,

it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes,

always perseveres.

Love never fails.

But honestly, some days I am so discouraged by these verses! EVERY DAY I fail at this list. EVERY DAY I blow it on several accounts. So, maybe I can be patient and kind one day, but then I find that I am keeping a record of wrong, envying, easily angered, or I lose hope. Actually, I have lost hope often…so it’s a lot easier to just go to the part I “need” for parenting in the moment. But I don’t go to these verses for comfort or with any kind of joy. It’s the opposite, really. I feel like such a loser when I line myself up with these verses, so I avoid them!

But they are always there, in the back of my mind. Lately, God’s been showing me how wrong my ideas about Him have been. Maybe it’s this grace thing. He’s been opening my eyes to His grace for over a year now, and recently He’s been talking to me about l-o-v-e. But I told Him I don’t know how much I like these verses. (Well, that was really poor grammar, and a deceptive way a saying what I really think.)

The truth: “See, God, I don’t like these verses because I can never measure up. I try really hard, even really leaning on your strength, but I can never get them. Never get them all right. Lots of days I don’t know if I get any of them, really, in my heart. Look pretty good on the outside, but you know my heart.”

So, you know what He said to me? “Go look at them again.”

And I’m thinking, “I know, I’ve heard good Bible teachers say, ‘Now put your name in there every time it says ‘love.’ That’s part of the problem, God, I am NOT these things. I told You I try, but I fail.”

But instead, patiently, He said, “Don’t put your name in there, put MY Name in there every time it says ‘love’. I AM LOVE.”

I Corinthians 13:4-8

Jesus is patient,

Jesus is kind.

Jesus does not envy, Jesus does not boast,

Jesus is not proud.

Jesus is not rude, Jesus is not self seeking,

Jesus is not easily angered,

Jesus keeps no record of wrongs.

Jesus does not delight in evil

but Jesus rejoices with the truth.

Jesus always protects, Jesus always trusts,

Jesus always hopes,

Jesus always perseveres.

Jesus never fails.

WOW! Perspective shift! A multitude of scripture and songs running through my mind, but the theme of them all…Jesus IS love. Jesus has done it all! It’s all about Him, not me or my striving.

John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease.”

Sole Deo Gloria!

WPS

Cleaning Out The Closets

2010-04-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

I am reviewing what I have already read and learned from the study on Simplicity and am back in chapter 3 today, “The World Is Too Much With Us.” These are some of my reflections from the first time I read this chapter with some new thoughts that I had today as I re-read it. And if you have any tips on cleaning out real or metaphorical closets, we would love to read them! Just post a comment. FYI, all comments are moderated by me and will not appear until I have time to read them and post them. I just want to keep the discussion here in line with the Word, and since the blog is accessible to the general public I moderate all comments.

Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey

Philippians 4:11-13
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I have been thinking about be content versus being complacent. I think sometimes I allow myself to continue on in a pattern because, frankly, it’s easier. I tell myself that I am just being content so that I’ll feel better about NOT doing the work it may require of me to live in the freedom that the Lord is offering me.

Colossians 1:29 says, “To this end I labor, struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me.” Jerry Bridges says, “In pursuit of his ministry Paul said he labored even to struggling… the Greek word translated as ‘labor’ in the NIV is ‘a strong word, denoting toil to the point of weariness or exhaustion.’ The word struggling in Greek is the word agonizomai, from which we get our word agonize, and conveys the idea of an athlete straining to win the race.’”

The words labor, struggling, weariness, exhaustion, and agonize are not words I’m naturally drawn to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sluggard, I’m not afraid to work, but this sounds like a LOT of really hard work! I know that I have avoided dealing with certain issues in my life because when I did start “digging into” them the difficulty of the work and the sheer volume of the work seemed overwhelming. You know, things like bitterness over the way someone has treated me unfairly, or fear of one of my health issues coming back, or working on my own behavior rather than my children’s.

I don’t know about you, but for me it would be more rewarding to repaint my living room wall than to sort through and clean out all the closets in my house. Why? Well, even though painting the wall is a lot of work, I could have the living room wall done in one day and all the furniture back in place AND when you come to my house, you will notice what I have been working on and you may even think that I am a hard worker. For that matter, even my husband would notice it! (wink) And the reward for me is feeling good about myself because I got a “hard” project done in one day, there is external change in my home and others say complementary things to me.

The sad thing is that my closets really need to be cleaned out and no one, probably not even my husband, is going to notice. And IF he does notice, he’s not going to give me the same level of accolades that he would if I painted the living room. The other thing is, cleaning out the closets is a lot more work than painting the living room. I MIGHT be able to get the closests cleaned out in one day, but then I have MORE WORK to do once I clean them out! I have to have my children try on clothes and make piles of what to keep in the closet, what to store for next season and for the little sister, and what to give away or sell (even more work having a yard sale or learning to sell it on ebay, etc.). And probably the thing I hate the most is having to deal with the stuff while we are sorting through it and deciding what should stay and what should go. Then it’s out in the open and I can see it all and it’s messy, and this project is going to take more than a week and I don’t want to have to work on a project that hard for that long! (somebody call the whaaaambulance!)

Cleaning out closets sounds a lot like cleaning things up in my heart. God is ready to do it, but I’m often not. I don’t want to have to dig through the stuff in my heart and mind that I’ve been storing up. It’s going to be so much work, and maybe even painful! I’m going to have to look at what I’ve been hiding and holding on to. I might even have to get rid of things that have been bringing me false comfort and false security. I know that if I decide to do it, the reward is that I will have real comfort and real security from my Father, but this project isn’t going to be wrapped up in one day. I’m going to have stuff to deal with for as long as it takes to align my priorities and desires with His. I guess another issues is that I am overwhelmed by the amount of work it is gong to take because I naturally think about doing things in my own strength instead of His. Do I really trust Him for His strength? Until I do, the job will be overwhelming.

I realize now that God had called me several years ago to start laying down some things that I was doing (easy to see things like painting walls or serving in areas that are sure to be noticed by others) because they were distractions keeping me from the hard work of self discipline that I needed to develop in order to get rid of some of the lies, wounds and bondage of the enemy that I couldn’t get control over in my own strength. I needed to focus on Him and then He did the work in me, of learning to be content. Really it was agonizing at points, and sometimes for very long periods of time (not to discourage you, but some things took months and even years, but maybe I'm just stubborn or slow). It was hard work to start giving up worry and control and to trust Him to do the things that I cannot do.

Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

The result I can expect when I respond in prayer is His peace which is more wonderful than the human mind can understand. How? Instead of worrying about how I am going to get through this I PRAY! Pray what? I have learned to be honest about what I am feeling and what I need. I have learned to NOT put on any pretense. I tell the Lord when I amangry, scared, depressed, etc. and then tell Him why and ask Him to take my burden. I ask Him to show me what to do or how to rest in a time of working through an issue (cleaning out a closet). It can be hard work, but take heart that He does not leave us to do it by ourselves; “His peace will guard your hearts and minds…”

So, if you really believe He is able and is going to see you through, what do you need to start cleaning on today? I’m heading for my closet!

What's In Your Freezer?

2010-04-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

“Our Lord did not teach detachment from other things: He taught attachment to Himself. Jesus was not a recluse. He did not cut Himself off from society, He was amazingly in and out among the ordinary things of life; but He was disconnected fundamentally from it all. He was not aloof, but He lived in another world.”

Oswald Chambers

Matthew 6:19-34
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,”

If I stop and reflect right here at the end of the first phrase of this passage, this is a concept so contrary to the thinking of the world, of myself, of just about anyone I know. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,” yet if I go look in ANY cupboard, closet or drawer in my house, I find collections of things. I understand that I need to have food stocked in my pantry and freezer to be prepared and to make the best use of my time so that I don’t have to go to the store as frequently, and some things I buy on sale to be wise steward, but sometimes even that gets out of control.

I’ve noticed it more since my husband has been laid off, that I’m always trying to make sure we have enough food. It actually didn’t occur to me until I came home from the store one day and was putting meat into the freezer that I had bought on sale and could barely fit it all in there with all of the other things I already had in the freezer. Right then I realized that I was trying to take care of all our needs regarding our food. That doesn’t sound so bad, except that He says, “And my God will supply all your needs. According to His glorious riches” (Philippians 4:19). And when I looked in my freezer and saw all that we had in there, I realized how abundantly He has been providing. So, I made a little deal with myself not to buy any more meat until I had used up all of the meat we had in the freezer and see how that went. Not that we ate meat every day, but we have eaten well every day, and I went more than a month without needing to buy any meat.

I actually think I’d like to do something similar to that, but include my children and husband in on it. I would like to challenge us to not buy anything except fresh fruit and veggies until we empty out the freezer completely, and see how creative we can be to use what He has already given us. I actually, think it will be kind of fun to see what we do and what God does. I’m going to present the idea to the family at dinner tonight. I'll keep you posted on what we do:)

Also, I've been thinking that I need to sell some stuff on ebay; stuff that is just extra clutter in our lives. I figure that I should try to sell it on ebay and see if I can make some money since we aren't making enough to cover our bare minimum expenses right now while my husband is growing his new business. Do any of you who have sold on ebay have any advice or help to offer me? I sold one thing on ebay 3 years ago and had a bad experience, so I am fearful of doing this. Being fearful of doing this is another reason why I need to do it.

Sole Deo Gloria!
WP Stacey

How Deep The Father's Love For Us

2010-04-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

Titus 3:3-7
Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled by others and became slaves to many wicked desires and evil pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy. We hated others, and they hated us. But then God our Savior showed us His kindness and love. He saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. He declared us not guilty because of His great kindness. And now we know that we will inherit eternal life. These things I have told you are all true. I want you to insist on them so that everyone who trusts in God will be careful to do good deeds all the time. These things are good and beneficial for everyone.

So, what insights do I gain about the basis of God’s acceptance of me through the above verses? I am so grateful for the itty bitty piece of His love that I can understand, and I am in awe to realize that His love and pursuit of me is so far beyond what I can understand. I think the lyrics of the song “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us” describe how I feel:

How Deep The Father’s Love For Us

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Sole Deo Gloria!
WPS

p.s. Selah does an awesome job singing this song! I'm sure you can find it on youtube. Someday I'll learn how to post stuff like that right onto this blog.

Coffee Meditations

2010-03-31T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hello Warrior Princess Sisters,
Today's post is an article that my friend, Vanessa, wrote a year or so ago. It was so good, I saved it. I talked to her today and got her permission to post her article on this blog. She is an excellent writer, Bible scholar, and a funny lady. I hope you enjoy her article:)

BTW, V wrote a Bible study on prayer that she just finished teaching at her church. I am so excited that she has agreed to come teach it at our church on Wednesday nights starting on April 14. If you you are interested in attending the study on prayer you can sign up at church, or contact me.

Enjoy!
WPS

Coffee Meditations
by Vanessa Kay Frisinger

I had almost convinced myself I was not an addict, until a rushed Monday morning proved otherwise. After getting the kids out the door to catch the school bus, preparing myself for the day and preventing our Rottweiler from eating the mail carrier, there was no time to brew my morning cup of coffee. Once the initial grogginess wore off, I found I could function pretty well without my ritual caffeine jumpstart. By eleven o’clock, I was congratulating myself for thriving without coffee. That was when the slamming migraine showed up. My caffeine-deprived brain cells screamed for a latte with extra espresso shots and demanded I come to terms with it. Hi, my name is Vanessa and I’m a coffee addict.

There had been other clues, subtle signs of addiction I had ignored along the way. I thought everyone could discern which coffee shop was near just by the smell. And certainly even the most casual coffee drinker could recognize the regional origin of a coffee blend after two sips. I prized my ability to drink straight espresso after dinner and still fall asleep after the evening news. Apparently I was in denial.

I do not know if there are coffee-holics anonymous support groups, where bleary-eyed, trembling people sit in a circle and share stories of the pain our habit has inflicted upon those we love. I do know that I would not be willing to join one of those groups if they do exist. Obviously, I’ve not hit rock bottom yet.

My sister-in-law has tried to intervene. She reminds me that most coffee is picked by families working harder than I can imagine for mere pennies a day. In protest, she boycotts the big-name coffee chains and encourages me to do the same. I would stand absolutely in awe of her personal sacrifice, if she liked coffee. But she hates the stuff. Where’s the glory in boycotting something you don’t want anyway? It’s like asking your seven-year-old to forgo lima beans or homework.

The women I meet with for Bible studies keep quiet about my problem, but I am sure they pray for me when I’m not around. I love my Bible study buddies. They both have the sort of self-discipline and intensity that would frighten Franciscan monks. Their grade-school children are home-schooled at the level of Yale graduates, their Bible study notes include direct quotations from no less than three authoritative sources, and one of them is an aerobic instructor, the other a tri-athlete. Let’s just say they’re “type A” personalities and I’m more of a “type B” or maybe “C,” if it goes that far. They kindly refer to themselves as “Martha” personalities and me as a “Mary” personality. (As in the Martha who had to serve all the disciples dinner because Mary was sitting at Christ’s feet, listening.) That’s nice. It feels so much better to be labeled ultra-spiritual instead of just plain lazy.

I suspect they agreed to meet at a local café because of me and my addiction; coffee certainly holds no mastery over them. On our appointed meeting date, I arrive first. I don’t blame them for being a little late. They probably got caught up in cleaning the grout with a toothbrush, or helping the nine-year old translate Isaiah from the original Aramaic.

I order a nice sugary blended coffee drink to help me to finish up the last few pages of our study. Just as I’m scribbling some sort of answer to the final question, the tri-athlete bounces in, pink water bottle in hand. I have witnessed her splurge with a nonfat latte, but only because she ran something like thirty gazillion miles that morning. Most days she moans her lack of self-discipline for having sprinted a mere five miles. I try real hard not to roll my eyes, (biting the inside of your cheek until the blood comes can help with that). After all, if the woman is compassionate enough to call me “Mary” instead of “Lazy,” I must resist the urge to slap her repeatedly until she realizes that running five miles is not something the majority of the American populace can do. About then our third member arrives and asks for a hot tea and cup of ice water.

Now we’re all seated around a small green table, where it is easy to see that their drinks are so calorie-deficient that they might be actually losing weight while drinking them. The syrup in my drink, meanwhile, has congealed along the sides and in the bottom of the clear cup. It offers enough calories to keep me going for a week, or immediately add ten inches to my hips, whichever comes first. But there is comfort in the fact that my study buddies won’t say a word about it, whatever they may be thinking; just like they can rest assured that I won’t reach over and slap the tri-athlete. Grace is such a good thing.

Like any good addict, I have more than one group of people I enjoy drinking with. Over the years I have brought my children with me to coffee shops. They do homework while I read or write, or we play MadLibs, much to the chagrin of the “cooler” café patrons. My son likes the taste of coffee but hates hot drinks. My daughter loves hot drinks, but hates coffee. Unless the sugar mass is quadruple the coffee weight, she won’t even smell it. There’s a place here that serves iced mochas with so much chocolate syrup they taste like milkshakes. She likes those.

Just as I cannot force my kids to like coffee, I cannot force them to love God. I have a responsibility to model a love for God to them and teach them the Truth, but there is no little switch in their heart that I can flip to make them search for God. Sometimes I wish there was. I’m sure God feels the same about me. When I’m grumpy or faithless or foolish, I’m sure God would like to flip a little switch in my heart too. But the weirdly beautiful thing is that He did not make us with those switches. He wanted a relationship, not a robot. And, in reality, I want that with my kids too.

I must admit to having one other coffee buddy. It may be sacrilegious or sacramental, but coffee is part of my morning devotions. While my mind wakes up, I try to sit at God’s feet like Mary. I thank Him for grace. I pray for my kids, that no matter what their opinions, their hearts would cling to God. And I thank Him for creating a bean that can be roasted, ground and steamed into a fabulous drink.

More Reflection on Becoming A Woman of Simplicity

2010-03-29T00:32:00.000-07:00

Gracious Acceptance

Ephesians 2:8-10
God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

My Thoughts on His Gracious Acceptance:
I am just like the lady at the beginning of this chapter who said that she finally realized that she doesn’t have to do anything to be valuable to God. He loves me for just who I am. I have finally come to this realization too in the last year or so. He loves me. What I do has nothing to do with whether or not He loves me. He loves me, period.

Everything Cynthia wrote about Claire doing things to be sure that she was getting God’s approval, and still feeling unworthy because she couldn’t figure out what was missing, that was me too. I had believed the lie of the enemy that “(my) identity was based on (my) performance – what (I) did defined who (I) was.” (p. 24) And, yes, it did rob me of the joy of acceptance and love that the Father had already given me. Thank You, Father that I have been set free of the lies and bondage of the enemy.

That took me quite a while to understand, but when I finally “got it” I was in awe of the truth and the simplicity of it. Actually, I am still in awe of it, but the wonderful thing is that I can sit in it. I can rest in this truth. I can rest in Him. But before I could rest I had to slow down and get rid of enough busyness in my life to sit still so that I could even ponder who He is and what the TRUTH is. Either I'm a slow learner or I had a LOT of garbage to clear out, it took me about ten years to really accept this truth and live from that place. Now I know…He loves me!

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

I still don’t really understand it all, but I guess that is faith and the work of the Holy Spirit. Before I was not okay with not understanding it and kept trying to figure it out. I still study the Word and seek His face in prayer, but I don’t have to get it all right now. The irony of that is that I seem to “get it” better now than when I was trying so hard to understand. That reminds me of a passage of scripture that He led me to last year (through Cynthia's book, A Woman's Journey to the Heart of God) and that I rest in, Psalm 131

My heart is not proud, O Lord,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great

matters

or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within

me.

O (Daughter), put your hope in the Lord

both now and forevermore.

Read About Kim Choosing the Best Over the Good

2010-03-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hey Warrior Princesses,

WP Kim wrote a comment that needed to be the daily post rather than just a comment. I'm so excited! This is exactly what I want to happen with this blog. Thank you for sharing, Kim. I hope the rest of you are encouraged to evaluate what you are doing and asking yourself if you are choosing what is good or what is best as you read what Kim had to say.
Sole Deo Gloria,
WP Stacey

p.s. Originally I posted this as a "One Thing" article, but I've come back in and edited my introduction because after further reflection I think that Kim's article is more in line with the chapter from the Simplicity study "The Good Competes with the Best".
Kim Choosing the Best Over the Good

I've been doing my one thing for 18 years now and it'll be my one thing for at least another 18...it's to be a focused mom to my children--nurturing, feeding, training, teaching, and loving the 5 plus children He's put in my home (fosters come and go--that's the "plus" :)

I haven't always known it was my ONE thing and I've gotten distracted with other things that seemed a part of my one thing. Like when I started an Awana program so that my children could have that excellent source of knowledge, spiritual training, and Bible memory that Awana provides in such a fun and creative way. At first it was a great family ministry but 6 years into it I found myself nurturing 100 leaders and over 300 children...oops! Back to my one thing at home. (I still attend with my daughter on Sunday nights as she finishes the high school program, but that's a special time with her as we walk to church and listen to the teaching together--definitely fits the description of my one thing.)

I was very impacted by that chapter in the Simplicity study as well and this song kept ringing in my ears until I seized the day and wrote down the verse that God gave me about my 3 daughters who will all too soon be grown (I added it at the end of the song.)
Carolyn Arends \ Seize The Day

I know a girl who was schooled in Manhattan
She reads dusty books and learns phrases in Latin
She is an author, or maybe a poet
A genius but it's just this world doesn't know it
She works on her novel most every day
If you laugh she will say

chorus:

Seize the day, seize whatever you can
'Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand
Seize the day, pray for grace from God's hand
Then nothing will stand in your way
Seize the day

Well I know a doctor, a fine young physician
Left his six-figure job for a mission position
He's healing the sick in an African clinic
He works in the dirt and writes home to the cynics
He says "We work through the night so most every day
As we watch the sun rise we can say

chorus

Well I know a man who's been doing some thinking
He's as bitter and cold as the whiskey he's drinking
He's talking 'bout fear, about chances not taken
If you listen to him you can hear his heart breaking
He says "One day you're a boy and the next day you're dead
I wish way back when someone had said

chorus

Well one thing I've noticed, wherever I wander
Everyone's got a dream he can follow or squander
You can do what you will with the days you are given
I'm trying to spend mine on the business of living
So I'm singing my songs off of any old stage
You can laugh if you want, I'll still say

Chorus
My verse:
Well I know a girl who is wanting to be heard
Her emotions and thoughts, they pour out word upon word
She's patient while we work on chore after chore
Seems like we'll be done soon but there's always more
I pray for each child, almost every day
And now I can hear my Lord say...
Seize the day! Seize whatever you can
'Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand
Seize the day, pray for grace from God's hand
Then nothing will stand in your way
Seize the day

Clarification About This Blog

2010-03-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

I really started this blog as a forum for my Warrior Princess friends and me to be able to post our current circumstances and how God is speaking, moving, and growing us. I in no way intend this to be me “teaching” or “speaking” to other women as a teacher. I do teach, but this is not teaching. This is me being honest about where I am and how God is using “life” to draw me closer to Him. Some days you may find me in what seems to be an ungodly place, but what we Warrior Princesses have found is that until we are honest about what we are thinking and struggling with, we cannot move/grow past those things. I also hope that some of you will post comments or email your stories so that we can be encouraged by what God is doing in you.

I decided to ask other women (other than the original WP group) to come check out this blog because I am seeing that a lot of you are Warrior Princesses too. I hope that as you read what we post here, that you will be encouraged in your walk with Jesus. I invite you to share your comments and stories so that you also may be an encouragement to those who read here.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the one who falls and has no one to help him up!

My prayer is that you have friends who will walk with you through life’s ups and downs. I also hope that this blog can be a place where you will be encouraged and encourage others as we share our “God Stories” with each other.

Sole Deo Gloria!
WPS

What is Your "One Thing" This Week?

2010-03-25T22:03:00.000-07:00

"It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish." J.R.R. Tolkien

What keeps you from doing the things God created you to do? Some things are to fulfill a personal dream or a desire, like me starting a blog. I have lots of reasons why I never started the blog before:

"I like to write, but I'm not good at technical stuff so I wouldn't know how to do those things."
"Even if I could get one going, I don't know if I could figure out how to make it look as good as some of the other blogs I read."
"Who would even want to read it?"
"What if some does read it and thinks I'm no good?"

Some are necessary things, like chores. I had a friend who hated doing laundry, so she would let it get so out of control that it was overwhelming before she would start it. Then she would have clothes (clean & dirty) in piles all over the house. It overwhelmed me too when I'd go over there. She put off getting started becasue she disliked it, but only made it more difficult.

Some things we put off doing are those things that we know we "should" do, like eat better, exercise, spend time with the Lord each day, read to our kids, etc. We know that our life would improve if we did those things, but we lack the motivation or direction to get started, or to keep doing it.

When I decided that I really was going to start this blog I was thinking it would be a good place for us (you and me, my Warrior Princess friends) to post what we are doing to bring about personal growth in our spiritual, physical, emotional, and even financial areas of our lives. I know I would be encouarged to hear how God is directing you and enabling you to start working toward those things you know that He is calling you to have more self-discipline in.

I'm so glad that I stopped making excuses this week and started this blog. Honestly, it was probably fear that kept me from doing it, fear and maybe even laziness. But after reading the chapter on The Sacred Present in Cynthia Heald's book Becoming a Woman of Simplicity, I asked myself, "What am I doing to make the most of each day?" I am not being hard on myself. There are things that I am being disciplined in and definitely like the results that I am seeing, but there are things that I could, maybe even should, be doing to make the most of my time.

I guess the other reason I've been thinking about this is that I realize that what I do today will help prepare me for tomorrow. This struck home recently when a sweet Christian man that I know suddenly found himself in a situation that he had longed for for the last 7 years. However, he had become complacent and hadn't disciplined himself to grow and prepare himself over the past 7 years. The sad result was that since he wasn't prepared he quite literally couldn't do what God set before him, the thing he had longed for. I don't want to finally arrive at the things I've been longing for only to find that I had wasted my time hoping, longing, whining, and not preparing for the good things that my Father has been waiting to give to me.

So, as I was reading the chapter on "The Sacred Present" I thought, "I can't create a perfect blog in one day (or even one week), but I can start one and learn one new thing about blogging each week. In a month I should have a blog and be able to put links in it, customize the layout, and post pictures. I can't do it all in one day, but I can do a little each week. In fact, I realized that my old besetting sins of perfection and pride had been part of what was keeping me from doing this. I confessed those and have put in their place just doing what I can do today to God's glory. This blog may have no eternal significance other than it has refined my thinking to be more concerned about what God thinks than what people think.

Ephesians 5:15-16
Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Proverbs 31:27
She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness.

So, what's the one thing you are going to work on this week? Is it something spiritual, physical, emotional, or financial? Actually, anything He is calling us to work on is spiritual work. So, will you post a comment or send me your story to post so that we might encourage one another as we start taking steps toward the things He is calling us to do now? I would love to hear from you!

Sole Deo Gloria,
WPS

Is His Grace Really Enough?

2010-03-23T23:16:00.000-07:00

II Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

This verse used to bother me. I mean, I don't want to just get by and that is how I saw the "My grace is sufficient..." part. You know, I will give you what you need to make it through this (get by). But then I decided to do a little search on what sufficient actually means, because I really don't want to just get by. Sufficient means:

to be possessed of unfailing strength
to be strong, to suffice, to be enough
to defend, ward off
to be satisfied, to be contented

See? It's not just getting by with the bare minimum, it is unfailing strength. And I have to think that when God gives us "enough" it's not just getting by, but a FILLING. I mean, to be satisfied is not just having a taste of something when you are hungry, it fills the hunger. The cool thing is that it is HIS unfailing strength, HIS sufficiency, HE is the defender, HE wards off, He satisfies, etc. Again, I was thinking in such limited, human terms instead of the truth of how big God is and how complete He is. Thank You, Father, that it all comes fromYou.
Sole Deo Gloria!

How I Fell Apart (or actually started getting it together)

2010-03-22T00:51:00.000-07:00

Letting Go

I Peter 4:12-13
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

I was 27 years old. My life was neat, planned, well-orchestrated. My husband and I had been married for four years. We had a nice home, a dog that didn’t shed (very important), and we both had good jobs. Yep, we were DINKS – Dual Income, NO Kids. I was teaching middle school Language Arts and working on my Master’s degree. Believe it or not, I had no further plans than to finish my degree. We were so busy that we hadn’t had time to sit down and plan the next five years of our lives, but it was on the agenda.

So, that was my life. I played it safe. I taught school. I took classes toward my master's degree, did homework, graded homework, taught aerobics after school each day, went to church every time the doors were open, helped my husband lead a couples Bible study, and worked in the Young Married’s Class at church. Daily, personal study? No, I didn’t have time for that with all those things I was doing. I justified it that I was at church four services a week, and I did read the books that we were studying for our Bible study so that I would be prepared for our group discussions. Plus, I listened to Christian radio, and not just to songs; I listened to some good teachers when I could, like J. Vernon McGee, Charles Swindoll, and John McArthur. I don’t know exactly what it was that changed my heart, but He did start changing me, even with as little as I was giving Him of me personally. I did pray, though I regret that they were often shallow prayers, and then at 27, I began to long for more. More of Him. Lord, You are awesome that You can take such dead, dry, bleached bones and start a spark of life to grow!

I began to remember how I used to pray when I was a little girl. I used to just talk to God all the time about everything that was doing or thinking, so I decided to do that again. I had to purpose in my heart to “pray without ceasing” and I specifically began to focus in on my driving time to and from work. The immediate benefit of that was that I stopped being an angry, uptight driver.

I remember driving home from work one day, considering me neat little life and realizing how much effort I put into making and keeping my life just so. “No wonder I’m tired and overwhelmed. This is exhausting work controlling everything in my life, but I fear letting go.”

It was as if He said to me, “Don’t you trust Me?”

“Well, I do trust You, Lord, but what if You want me to go somewhere I don’t want to go? Like, what if You want me to go be a missionary in some remote part of Africa? You know I don’t even like to go camping here. How could I do something like that?”

“If you believe I am Who I say I am, then you know that you can trust Me. If you don’t, then do you really, really believe at all?”

“I do believe, but I’m afraid to let go of all these things that make me who I am. What will happen? What will people think if I stop doing all these other things for You and let go?”

“You aren’t doing those things for Me. This is what I want for you. Come. Trust Me. I want to show you Who I really am. Let go. Trust Me.”

I did let go. It started with a simple prayer, “Lord, I’m tired of being in control. Lord, I trust You to lead me and do what You want to do with my life. Please, show me what You want me to do.” And He did.

What have we faced since then?

• Infertility

• 2 adoptions that fell through and 2 that resulted in our beautiful daughters

• Breast cancer

• Depression

• Betrayal

• Loss of job

• Loss of business

• Financial hardship

• And the list goes on

So, if I can trust Him, why did I begin writing this piece with a verse about suffering? Read the whole passage again and remember the words, “But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.” Dear Reader, in all of this He has also blessed us, not as man counts blessings. He has been refining us, stripping away the false gods and revealing life and truth as He draws us closer to Him. The joy of His glory revealed in you IS worth letting go of what we perceive as safe and joining in His suffering. This joy, His Glory, this is our purpose. This is true fulfillment!

To His Glory!
WPS

Who are the warrior princess sisters?

2010-03-21T23:31:00.000-07:00

We are Christian women who have been in a small group together for the past 4 years for the purpose of encouraging and praying for one another. We have been in Bible study and discipleship with each other as we each seek to walk closer to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

As the eldest, and often the unofficial leader, I have taken it on myself to start this blog to create a forum for the 4 of us to post our own struggles and victories to encourage each other and anyone else who may be seeking encouragement in her walk with the Lord.